Teaching ESL (English as a Second Language) in another country, with vastly different customs, taught me something interesting about how we use the English language. For example, one day when teaching a class the word “take” I translated it to the word “yok” in Khmer, which is used in the tense “Please take this food.” Later on, we were talking about different rooms in the house, and upon learning of the bathroom, I explained, “The bathroom is where you ‘take a shower.’” Well, I used an idiom that we use almost on a daily basis and found out how confusing the English language can be.
Idioms are odd things, and every language has them. If you are considering learning a new language, just learning nouns, verbs, adjectives, and adverbs will not be enough, because grammar rules and idioms will throw a wrench in your process… hey look, another idiom.
Here are two more idioms we use: “starting a new season in life” and “moving on to the next chapter.” These two idioms have been on my mind lately for obvious reasons. Have you ever thought back on your life and realized it pretty well divides into chapters and seasons? Some longer than others, but there are definitive moments of change throughout our lives.
Kelsi and I began our story together in 2010 when we started dating, and continued that story into our marriage in June 2011. In June 2012 we felt God calling us to a short term mission trip to Cambodia (nine months), and little did we know that this would turn into the next four years of our lives and include growing our family from two to five (and growing our faith exponentially). I’ve told the story so many times and the details are found all throughout this blog, so all I will say is that if our life were a book, that chapter would be the curve ball.
Some may have already realized that this is going to be our last blog on Mission Cambodia. I do not presume to know God’s plan for our lives (one of the many lessons we learned in Cambodia: not to make definitive plans), but we are back Stateside, and are settling into our next chapter. I have enjoyed chronicling what God has done in our lives over the years, and it is a treasure to have all that written down (even the moments of imperfection), as a testament of God’s grace and faithfulness to us.
Kelsi and I are so grateful for all the support we have had and continue to have. There were moments during our time in Cambodia in which our faith in God’s provision was matched by your obedience to pray and support us. You have all been such a blessing to our family!
In all this, our prayer and mission is the same: to bring glory to God and honor Him in our words and actions, and to make disciples wherever God places us. As I have emphasized in other blogs, this is a mission we all share. I hope this blog has been an encouragement to any and all who have taken the time to read it, and again I just want to say thank you to everyone for your support.
BecauseHeLives,
The Bergens.
December 19, 2016
October 20, 2016
Transition for TCKs
This year has been the year of transition for our family. I
would like to say we are handling it with grace but, honestly, these last four
months have been the hardest of my life.
You would think by now that I would know not to make plans! But, alas,
we are human and this is just how we work!
I have been selfish though. Through all of the stress that has come with
Micah going to the States and not getting our I-130s when we thought we would I
have been so selfish! I haven't thought about how the girls were handling
things or what would be best for them. I have just been surviving! Which, I know
most of you would come back and tell me that this is okay and that "this
too shall pass" and that we will get through this, and yes, I believe this
is all true but what was supposed to be three months has now turned into four
months going on five! I can tell from
the things the girls are saying that we have been in transition and without
anything stable for too long. My Abby
thrives on routine and our lives have been everything but routine lately.
So, all that being said, I am writing this blog to pave a
way for my girls to finish off this season of our lives well. Once again we can see the light at the end of
the tunnel… maybe it is just another train coming and we will have to stop and
wait for it to pass or maybe it is really the end of the tunnel. I really have
no clue but regardless my children need something stable to lean on as we
continue on this crazy crazy ride.
I have been talking to some very wise people lately and
reading up on things my children are going through and will be going through as
we transition to America and the term that just keeps coming up is TCK. (Third
Culture Kids-a child who has lived or is living in a country other than their passport country for a long period of time) I
didn't really think this applied to us because the girls are living in their
passport country. But even so, Micah and I are American and we have raised them
as Americans knowing that going back to the States was our end goal. So, just living in our household brings the
girls out of Cambodia and sort of into America.
I bring this up because the simple question "Where are
you from?" is very difficult for a TCK. Add in the word "home" and
all sorts of confusion breaks loose. If
I asked you "Where is your home?" you would most likely be able to
tell me with just a few words and very little thought or emotion. But to a TCK
and to my girls this question is extremely difficult. Do you mean where I was born? Where I live
now? Where I have spent the most time? Where I want to be? We asked Abby the other day where she thinks
home is and she said here in Cambodia. I then asked Lily and she said it is
just wherever Micah and I are. I know that their answers will be different at
different stages of their lives too.
So, as we prepare to make our way to the United States, I am asking you, as you meet and talk with my girls please
be sensitive to the fact that they may not be super ecstatic to be going to America
at the moment that you are talking to them. They might be missing Cambodia a
lot once we are there. They might be confused about where home is. My girls, being adopted and from a culture that calls everyone aunt or uncle, even
have trouble sometimes understanding who their family is.
I want my girls to thrive. I want them to connect with people that love them. I want them to transition as well as possible. I am going to put some helpful links on this post for anyone who wants to further their understanding of what my girls (and even Micah and I at times) are going through and how to connect better with them.
Thanks for your time and understanding.
Kelsi
September 16, 2016
My Dilemma
As most of you know, we have hit yet another bump in the road.
If you have been following our adoption/visa process, you know that we have been looking towards September as the end of the tunnel--based on what we were told about our paper work for Abby and Lily's I-130/visas.
Well, we have now been told that our foster care is not strong enough to prove legal custody... which was the reason that September was our end of tunnel month. Without foster care as our legal custody, we have to use our adoption decree (which we got this year) and go two years from that date... so sometime in 2018 we could start the I-130/visa process.
Honestly, I was expecting to have a problem with the visas and paperwork, because nothing has gone smoothly thus far, but was not expecting this big of a problem.
So at this point, there are two ways that people react. One is to say, "We just need to pray, cause God will take care of this bump in the road, and they will be home soon." The other is to have a shocked look of silence and just say, "I'll be praying for you."
The second is where I am at right now. It is not that I do not have the faith to believe God is bigger than this "bump," but that I have faith that believes in a God who uses "bumps" to make us more into His image. My God would allow something like this to happen for a purpose, and if we trust Him, we may not see what it is now, but when we look back, it will be certain that He was at work the whole time.
My dilemma right now is trying to pray for God's will, but also pouring out my desire that the girls can come home soon, while knowing that God could be at work either way.
This might be His way of showing one last time that it was ALL Him. He gets all the glory, if the girls come home soon, cause at this point it would take an act of God to overcome this situation.
This also might be God's way of saying, "I still have something I'm doing in you, in Cambodia." Kelsi and I felt very strongly that He was calling us home, and that is why we made all these plans, but God has a way of changing our plans... a lot. And every time He has changed our plans, it has been for our benefit (e.g. changing our plan to only be in Cambodia for nine months).
As I go to sleep tonight, the sun will rise on Kelsi and the girls--it is Friday there. If I wake up and have not heard any news, it will be another weekend of waiting. I told Kelsi, I will probably fall apart if that happens--just being honest. This has been one of the hardest weeks ever emotionally for us, and I am trying to just go about my days with the peace that passes understanding, but also completely in turmoil, and only hanging on by the grace of God and His continual support. I miss my wife. I miss my daughters. I want to be with them... now.
Pray. Pray for God's will. Pray that our desires match His and we will be reunited soon. Pray for peace in this storm.
Lastly, I want to share a song that came on while I was praying in the car on the way to school yesterday... I was in one of those about to fall apart moments, when God took over my "Random All Songs" playlist and put this on.
In My Love by Phil Wickham
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9nT0hA5PG4
If you have been following our adoption/visa process, you know that we have been looking towards September as the end of the tunnel--based on what we were told about our paper work for Abby and Lily's I-130/visas.
Well, we have now been told that our foster care is not strong enough to prove legal custody... which was the reason that September was our end of tunnel month. Without foster care as our legal custody, we have to use our adoption decree (which we got this year) and go two years from that date... so sometime in 2018 we could start the I-130/visa process.
Honestly, I was expecting to have a problem with the visas and paperwork, because nothing has gone smoothly thus far, but was not expecting this big of a problem.
So at this point, there are two ways that people react. One is to say, "We just need to pray, cause God will take care of this bump in the road, and they will be home soon." The other is to have a shocked look of silence and just say, "I'll be praying for you."
The second is where I am at right now. It is not that I do not have the faith to believe God is bigger than this "bump," but that I have faith that believes in a God who uses "bumps" to make us more into His image. My God would allow something like this to happen for a purpose, and if we trust Him, we may not see what it is now, but when we look back, it will be certain that He was at work the whole time.
My dilemma right now is trying to pray for God's will, but also pouring out my desire that the girls can come home soon, while knowing that God could be at work either way.
This might be His way of showing one last time that it was ALL Him. He gets all the glory, if the girls come home soon, cause at this point it would take an act of God to overcome this situation.
This also might be God's way of saying, "I still have something I'm doing in you, in Cambodia." Kelsi and I felt very strongly that He was calling us home, and that is why we made all these plans, but God has a way of changing our plans... a lot. And every time He has changed our plans, it has been for our benefit (e.g. changing our plan to only be in Cambodia for nine months).
As I go to sleep tonight, the sun will rise on Kelsi and the girls--it is Friday there. If I wake up and have not heard any news, it will be another weekend of waiting. I told Kelsi, I will probably fall apart if that happens--just being honest. This has been one of the hardest weeks ever emotionally for us, and I am trying to just go about my days with the peace that passes understanding, but also completely in turmoil, and only hanging on by the grace of God and His continual support. I miss my wife. I miss my daughters. I want to be with them... now.
Pray. Pray for God's will. Pray that our desires match His and we will be reunited soon. Pray for peace in this storm.
Lastly, I want to share a song that came on while I was praying in the car on the way to school yesterday... I was in one of those about to fall apart moments, when God took over my "Random All Songs" playlist and put this on.
In My Love by Phil Wickham
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=K9nT0hA5PG4
August 6, 2016
Plane Tickets
Well, friends, this is one of those posts I hate writing. I wrote one around this time last year when Micah had his appendix out and we were needing to pay for our adoptions and such and let me tell you, you all came through for us! But since then life has happened and a year has passed and here we are again...
As you know, Micah is in the states right now preparing his math classroom for this coming school year. I am so proud of him and excited for this new adventure! This leaves the girls and I still here waiting to get their visas. Micah's lovely mother, Della, has come to help us out until we can return. I am so thankful for her! I don't think this would have worked out at all if it weren't for her! (THANK YOU DELLA!) Last night we were looking at flight options and just kinda talking about what we need and looking at a date that would be good and give us enough time to get visas done. We found a ticket for October 1st that is perfect but as we were looking I noticed that even now the prices are only going up. We need to get these tickets bought! But this is where our problem is. If we save enough to pay for the visas, we only have about a 3rd of the money we need. So, for one last time, I am asking you to pray about how God might want you to help out. We have said it over and over, all we ask for is obedience. We know and have seen time and time again that our God is faithful and will always provide for our needs. Is He asking YOU to help this time?
Thanks friends!
Kelsi
As you know, Micah is in the states right now preparing his math classroom for this coming school year. I am so proud of him and excited for this new adventure! This leaves the girls and I still here waiting to get their visas. Micah's lovely mother, Della, has come to help us out until we can return. I am so thankful for her! I don't think this would have worked out at all if it weren't for her! (THANK YOU DELLA!) Last night we were looking at flight options and just kinda talking about what we need and looking at a date that would be good and give us enough time to get visas done. We found a ticket for October 1st that is perfect but as we were looking I noticed that even now the prices are only going up. We need to get these tickets bought! But this is where our problem is. If we save enough to pay for the visas, we only have about a 3rd of the money we need. So, for one last time, I am asking you to pray about how God might want you to help out. We have said it over and over, all we ask for is obedience. We know and have seen time and time again that our God is faithful and will always provide for our needs. Is He asking YOU to help this time?
Thanks friends!
Kelsi
July 29, 2016
Stateside - Well, Partially...
It has been a whirlwind for the last couple months...
Yesterday, I was in the airport in Georgia.
Just a few days ago, I was in Poland at my brother's wedding.
Just a few weeks ago, I was in Cambodia with my girls and wife.
I start the school year soon (August 11th), and will be heading to Ballard, after what seems like too short of a visit with the Bergen family, to visit with the Loyd/Teagarden family there and start getting my classroom ready.
I told my mom that this year has been full of transitions, and I am ready for some consistency and routine. With my first year of teaching about to begin, it can all be very overwhelming, but I keep coming back to the basics--God will sustain and provide me with all that I need to accomplish the work He has given me to do.
This next season is a short one (it will probably feel longer), but full of challenges. I am going to try to begin at a new school, while also transitioning back into life in the US, and all of it while my wife and daughters remain in Cambodia to finish up visa things and sell all our belongings.
Some decisions in life are easy and you can see that it was the best choice, and some you go over in your head and keep asking God, "Are you sure this is the best way?" I am sure there are many who have opinions about how we could have done it, but in the end, Kelsi and I prayed and agreed on two things. 1) I needed to be at my brother's wedding, even if I went alone and 2) It would be best for our family if I had a teaching job this year.
It worked out that the best way to do both of these things was for me to go to his wedding in Poland and then keep going on to the States, while my mom went to the wedding and then continued on to Cambodia to help Kelsi.
So for this next season, I am in Missouri and my wife and daughters are in Cambodia. I know that families (especially military families) spend time apart all the time, so I am not going to complain, but definitely keep Kelsi in you prayers, as she remains in Cambodia.
As I mentioned, she is not alone. For this season, my mom has actually flown in for back-up, and will stay with Kelsi until they all come home. Some might wonder when that will be, and definitive dates are difficult when visas are involved, but in past posts I explained how it all worked. Even so, I'll go ahead and give a run down one more time.
There are three things that you need for the visas we are applying for: 1) Proof of adoption from the government 2) Proof of legal custody for at least 2 years 3) Proof of residential custody for at least 2 years.
We have all the right paper work, but our proof of legal custody began on September 2014, so we don't meet the requirements for two years of legal custody until September 2016 (which if you remember is the date Kelsi thought last year we would be going home--only she thought it was September 16th, 2015).
I have already been in contact with the US Embassy and they said that they will handle the paper work (as long as the USCIS gives them permission, which we have no reason to believe they won't) and that the whole process tends to take about two weeks to finalize and then another week or two to be travel ready.
Kelsi is hoping to be home at the end of September or early October, but we will just have to see how the visas all work out. We don't have any doubts that they will be approved, because I showed the US Embassy our paper work in January and they said it all looked good--Kelsi and I are not in the business of coming up with a hundred scenarios in which it could get denied or they get stuck in Cambodia or a meteor hits the planet or air suddenly gets sucked from the atmosphere... Worry is defined as expending energy thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong instead of just trusting that God will take care of us whatever happens.
My job is easy, I just have to do what I went to University to do: teach Mathematics. Honestly, if I am being honest, there are moments I freak out a little, but then I remember the basics (see above).
Some of you may be wondering what this means as far as financial support, since I am starting a job and will have a paycheck now, but Kelsi is still in Cambodia and needs to continue paying rent and buying groceries and such.
I spoke with our Mission Agent about it and they have agreed to handle our finances through the end of the year, so up until December 31st 2016 we will continue to accept donations through our mission agent. This does not mean you have to continue supporting us through that date. Like always, we hope that you will pray about it and be obedient to whatever God wants you to do. We will be in transition and need to equip a house (after we find one). Our plan is to stay with Kelsi's parents for a while, until we get back on our feet.
Kelsi and I didn't really know how long we should accept support after we returned, especially since I will be working and our family will have a source of income, but the end of the year seemed like a good point at which to end it.
At this point, we still have some savings left from last year's fund raiser (after I went to the hospital, we had overwhelming support). Although the savings covers some of it, we still need to cover the girls' visas and tickets for their return to the States, and I'm sure there are a ton of "hidden expenses" that will pop up during these next couple of months. Just like everything else, we ask that you pray about what God might like for you to do, and we will just continue to trust that He will provide.
Prayer needs would be what you would expect.
Pray that Kelsi will have patience and strength as she remains in Cambodia.
Pray that the visas will work out smoothly and without too much hassle.
Pray that during this time of separation God would give our family strength and perseverance.
And finally pray that I will have the wisdom to teach in the classroom with humility and grace.
Thank you everyone for your support and I can't wait to visit with all of you!
It's good to be back.
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
Yesterday, I was in the airport in Georgia.
Just a few days ago, I was in Poland at my brother's wedding.
Just a few weeks ago, I was in Cambodia with my girls and wife.
Currently, I am sitting in Carthage, Missouri on my brother's couch, while my niece plays Toy Story on the Wii.
It doesn't feel real. So familiar yet foreign at the same time.
I start the school year soon (August 11th), and will be heading to Ballard, after what seems like too short of a visit with the Bergen family, to visit with the Loyd/Teagarden family there and start getting my classroom ready.
I told my mom that this year has been full of transitions, and I am ready for some consistency and routine. With my first year of teaching about to begin, it can all be very overwhelming, but I keep coming back to the basics--God will sustain and provide me with all that I need to accomplish the work He has given me to do.
This next season is a short one (it will probably feel longer), but full of challenges. I am going to try to begin at a new school, while also transitioning back into life in the US, and all of it while my wife and daughters remain in Cambodia to finish up visa things and sell all our belongings.
Some decisions in life are easy and you can see that it was the best choice, and some you go over in your head and keep asking God, "Are you sure this is the best way?" I am sure there are many who have opinions about how we could have done it, but in the end, Kelsi and I prayed and agreed on two things. 1) I needed to be at my brother's wedding, even if I went alone and 2) It would be best for our family if I had a teaching job this year.
It worked out that the best way to do both of these things was for me to go to his wedding in Poland and then keep going on to the States, while my mom went to the wedding and then continued on to Cambodia to help Kelsi.
So for this next season, I am in Missouri and my wife and daughters are in Cambodia. I know that families (especially military families) spend time apart all the time, so I am not going to complain, but definitely keep Kelsi in you prayers, as she remains in Cambodia.
As I mentioned, she is not alone. For this season, my mom has actually flown in for back-up, and will stay with Kelsi until they all come home. Some might wonder when that will be, and definitive dates are difficult when visas are involved, but in past posts I explained how it all worked. Even so, I'll go ahead and give a run down one more time.
There are three things that you need for the visas we are applying for: 1) Proof of adoption from the government 2) Proof of legal custody for at least 2 years 3) Proof of residential custody for at least 2 years.
We have all the right paper work, but our proof of legal custody began on September 2014, so we don't meet the requirements for two years of legal custody until September 2016 (which if you remember is the date Kelsi thought last year we would be going home--only she thought it was September 16th, 2015).
I have already been in contact with the US Embassy and they said that they will handle the paper work (as long as the USCIS gives them permission, which we have no reason to believe they won't) and that the whole process tends to take about two weeks to finalize and then another week or two to be travel ready.
Kelsi is hoping to be home at the end of September or early October, but we will just have to see how the visas all work out. We don't have any doubts that they will be approved, because I showed the US Embassy our paper work in January and they said it all looked good--Kelsi and I are not in the business of coming up with a hundred scenarios in which it could get denied or they get stuck in Cambodia or a meteor hits the planet or air suddenly gets sucked from the atmosphere... Worry is defined as expending energy thinking of every possible thing that could go wrong instead of just trusting that God will take care of us whatever happens.
My job is easy, I just have to do what I went to University to do: teach Mathematics. Honestly, if I am being honest, there are moments I freak out a little, but then I remember the basics (see above).
Some of you may be wondering what this means as far as financial support, since I am starting a job and will have a paycheck now, but Kelsi is still in Cambodia and needs to continue paying rent and buying groceries and such.
I spoke with our Mission Agent about it and they have agreed to handle our finances through the end of the year, so up until December 31st 2016 we will continue to accept donations through our mission agent. This does not mean you have to continue supporting us through that date. Like always, we hope that you will pray about it and be obedient to whatever God wants you to do. We will be in transition and need to equip a house (after we find one). Our plan is to stay with Kelsi's parents for a while, until we get back on our feet.
Kelsi and I didn't really know how long we should accept support after we returned, especially since I will be working and our family will have a source of income, but the end of the year seemed like a good point at which to end it.
At this point, we still have some savings left from last year's fund raiser (after I went to the hospital, we had overwhelming support). Although the savings covers some of it, we still need to cover the girls' visas and tickets for their return to the States, and I'm sure there are a ton of "hidden expenses" that will pop up during these next couple of months. Just like everything else, we ask that you pray about what God might like for you to do, and we will just continue to trust that He will provide.
Prayer needs would be what you would expect.
Pray that Kelsi will have patience and strength as she remains in Cambodia.
Pray that the visas will work out smoothly and without too much hassle.
Pray that during this time of separation God would give our family strength and perseverance.
And finally pray that I will have the wisdom to teach in the classroom with humility and grace.
Thank you everyone for your support and I can't wait to visit with all of you!
It's good to be back.
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
May 10, 2016
RAFT - Transitioning Well
Hello Friends,
It has been a while since I last posted anything about our lives here in PP (That's Phnom Penh, if you didn't know).
I have written before about no matter where in the world you are, eventually, you will find a routine. It may be a different routine than you would have in the States, but you will still find it. And once you are in that routine, time flies. This has been great for us, as we await our return back to life in the States, but it also means that I have let blogs and newsletters slip.
For this blog, I thought I would write about two things. One is about something I did today, and the other is about transition.
This afternoon, when I got home from school, I ate lunch (I write that so you get the idea that we are really just living life here like everyone else--routine). After lunch, I hopped in a tuk tuk with Melody, Kelsi, and I's passports in hand, and took them to get visas, because they expire on the 27th of this month. I asked for a 3 month visa, and Kelsi and Melody are getting 6 month visas... and this doesn't seem very extraordinary, except that they are the last visas we will get for our time in Cambodia.
We are coming home.
I was speaking with someone the other day about it, and they were skeptical about it all, and maybe Kelsi and I should be too, because we have been through this all before. We just needed this one piece of paper, and we could bring the girls home to the States... but then something would happen and we would have to stay longer. But this time, we are really coming home.
Adoptions are done, visas are coming, and tickets (at least mine) will be purchased within a week.
This leaves me in utter amazement at how the reality of God's faithfulness can be realized in a simple act of taking a tuk tuk ride for visas.
Secondly, we have been told by friends that re-entry into the States is difficult, and there are steps that we can take to make the transition easier.
The system is called RAFT.
R - Reconciliation
A - Affirmation
F - Farewells
T - Think Destination
Reconciliation is important, especially as believers. We sometimes think that because we are leaving a place and will most likely never see these people again, we shouldn't waste time trying to work out our differences, but that is not a Christ-minded way to think about it. In reality, the Holy Spirit brings unity, and our unity even in disagreement is actually a sign of the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. For us to be offended and cut off a relationship forever is not in the heart of Christ, which is why He said to go to the one who has offended you and make amends, and especially those whom we have sinned against. To leave a broken relationship only means that you will have regrets bearing on you (or worse, resentment) going into this new season God is giving you.
I have heard it said that affirmation is simply acknowledging that every person has an impact in your life, and recognizing that impact. For me, affirmation is almost the other side of reconciliation. Go to those who have been an encouragement to you and make it known to them. Spend time appreciating the support system(s) God has blessed you with. Although we are happy to be moving on from our season here, it does not mean that we do it whilst burning bridges. We have family here in Phnom Penh, and we do not leave them easily.
I feel like affirmation and Farewells kinda go hand in hand, except that farewell means more than just people. There are things and places about Cambodia, which we will not find in the States. Especially for the girls' sake, we need to go to that special place one more time. Kelsi and I have spent most of our married life in Cambodia, and there are special date night locations that we need to recognize before we fly thirty hours away. Leaving well means not getting so focused on the future that you rush out and never look back. One place that comes to mind for me is ICF--our home church here in PP. Those people are our family and that church has been a rock for us while we have been here--especially our small group.
To think destination means that we are realistically thinking about our transition back to the States. Where will we live, what will we do, and how will we re-enter well? I like to think that we will have no problems, but that is not true. Many have warned us of the emotional weight the transition from life on the field to life in your home country can be. Kelsi and I are so looking forward to the States, it is hard for me to think that we will have any trouble, but dear friends that I trust have said that we should consider going through debrief sessions with a counselor as part of returning, and we are looking into it.
God has already provided for us in so many ways, and we are all waiting in anticipation to be back with family and friends, and see where God is leading us into this next season of ministry.
Our time in Cambodia is coming to a close, and that means we are busy RAFTing, but we did not want to forget to let you all know how we are doing. We are still super blessed by all the support we have received, and the prayers are invaluable to us. Keep it up!
Until next time,
The Bergens.
It has been a while since I last posted anything about our lives here in PP (That's Phnom Penh, if you didn't know).
I have written before about no matter where in the world you are, eventually, you will find a routine. It may be a different routine than you would have in the States, but you will still find it. And once you are in that routine, time flies. This has been great for us, as we await our return back to life in the States, but it also means that I have let blogs and newsletters slip.
For this blog, I thought I would write about two things. One is about something I did today, and the other is about transition.
This afternoon, when I got home from school, I ate lunch (I write that so you get the idea that we are really just living life here like everyone else--routine). After lunch, I hopped in a tuk tuk with Melody, Kelsi, and I's passports in hand, and took them to get visas, because they expire on the 27th of this month. I asked for a 3 month visa, and Kelsi and Melody are getting 6 month visas... and this doesn't seem very extraordinary, except that they are the last visas we will get for our time in Cambodia.
We are coming home.
I was speaking with someone the other day about it, and they were skeptical about it all, and maybe Kelsi and I should be too, because we have been through this all before. We just needed this one piece of paper, and we could bring the girls home to the States... but then something would happen and we would have to stay longer. But this time, we are really coming home.
Adoptions are done, visas are coming, and tickets (at least mine) will be purchased within a week.
This leaves me in utter amazement at how the reality of God's faithfulness can be realized in a simple act of taking a tuk tuk ride for visas.
Secondly, we have been told by friends that re-entry into the States is difficult, and there are steps that we can take to make the transition easier.
The system is called RAFT.
R - Reconciliation
A - Affirmation
F - Farewells
T - Think Destination
Reconciliation is important, especially as believers. We sometimes think that because we are leaving a place and will most likely never see these people again, we shouldn't waste time trying to work out our differences, but that is not a Christ-minded way to think about it. In reality, the Holy Spirit brings unity, and our unity even in disagreement is actually a sign of the Holy Spirit's work in our lives. For us to be offended and cut off a relationship forever is not in the heart of Christ, which is why He said to go to the one who has offended you and make amends, and especially those whom we have sinned against. To leave a broken relationship only means that you will have regrets bearing on you (or worse, resentment) going into this new season God is giving you.
I have heard it said that affirmation is simply acknowledging that every person has an impact in your life, and recognizing that impact. For me, affirmation is almost the other side of reconciliation. Go to those who have been an encouragement to you and make it known to them. Spend time appreciating the support system(s) God has blessed you with. Although we are happy to be moving on from our season here, it does not mean that we do it whilst burning bridges. We have family here in Phnom Penh, and we do not leave them easily.
I feel like affirmation and Farewells kinda go hand in hand, except that farewell means more than just people. There are things and places about Cambodia, which we will not find in the States. Especially for the girls' sake, we need to go to that special place one more time. Kelsi and I have spent most of our married life in Cambodia, and there are special date night locations that we need to recognize before we fly thirty hours away. Leaving well means not getting so focused on the future that you rush out and never look back. One place that comes to mind for me is ICF--our home church here in PP. Those people are our family and that church has been a rock for us while we have been here--especially our small group.
To think destination means that we are realistically thinking about our transition back to the States. Where will we live, what will we do, and how will we re-enter well? I like to think that we will have no problems, but that is not true. Many have warned us of the emotional weight the transition from life on the field to life in your home country can be. Kelsi and I are so looking forward to the States, it is hard for me to think that we will have any trouble, but dear friends that I trust have said that we should consider going through debrief sessions with a counselor as part of returning, and we are looking into it.
God has already provided for us in so many ways, and we are all waiting in anticipation to be back with family and friends, and see where God is leading us into this next season of ministry.
Our time in Cambodia is coming to a close, and that means we are busy RAFTing, but we did not want to forget to let you all know how we are doing. We are still super blessed by all the support we have received, and the prayers are invaluable to us. Keep it up!
Until next time,
The Bergens.
February 23, 2016
Coming to a Close
As it seems, our time in Cambodia is starting to come to a close. I spoke with the U.S. Embassy and the Director of Consular Affairs answered all my questions about Abby and Lily's visas--she was very helpful and informative. Kelsi and I were working on a few options for returning to the States, and the Embassy was able to narrow down those options to two. We are still praying about what will be best, but I thought I would share this with all of you so you could be praying also.
The Embassy said that they would be willing to process our visa paper work, but it would definitely have to wait until September 1st (this is when we will meet the legal custody requirement). She let me know that the process in total should take about a month, and after that we would be flight ready. This means that we could all be on a plane in early October coming home for good, as a family.
I am gonna just stop and let everyone sing a song of praise and thanksgiving to God for this miracle.
Ok. So there is still paperwork to fill out, but from my conversation with the Embassy it is just that... paperwork. And it will take about a month for interviews and such.
If you read a previous post, you may remember that we were asking you all to pray that we would get to come home sooner, because the school year starts in August, and it would be nice to be able to start into a teaching job. Kelsi and I have not completely lost hope in this. As of right now, I have begun to apply for various teaching jobs, and if something were to happen with those, there is an option for me to come home at the end of July to start it, while Kelsi finishes up the paper work with the girls and comes two months later.
This is not our favorite option, but we understand that families undergo times of separation, and it would only be a short time, while I get everything ready for them to come--Kelsi would have plenty of support in Cambodia (if you were worried about that).
We are very excited to be trying to work out these details, as it just emphasizes that we are on our way home. We could definitely use some prayer, as we are trying to make these decisions, and we are so encouraged by all your support, as we hopefully finish well (another blog about that later).
That is all for now. I hope you all have a great week, and please remember to pray for us!
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
The Embassy said that they would be willing to process our visa paper work, but it would definitely have to wait until September 1st (this is when we will meet the legal custody requirement). She let me know that the process in total should take about a month, and after that we would be flight ready. This means that we could all be on a plane in early October coming home for good, as a family.
I am gonna just stop and let everyone sing a song of praise and thanksgiving to God for this miracle.
Ok. So there is still paperwork to fill out, but from my conversation with the Embassy it is just that... paperwork. And it will take about a month for interviews and such.
If you read a previous post, you may remember that we were asking you all to pray that we would get to come home sooner, because the school year starts in August, and it would be nice to be able to start into a teaching job. Kelsi and I have not completely lost hope in this. As of right now, I have begun to apply for various teaching jobs, and if something were to happen with those, there is an option for me to come home at the end of July to start it, while Kelsi finishes up the paper work with the girls and comes two months later.
This is not our favorite option, but we understand that families undergo times of separation, and it would only be a short time, while I get everything ready for them to come--Kelsi would have plenty of support in Cambodia (if you were worried about that).
We are very excited to be trying to work out these details, as it just emphasizes that we are on our way home. We could definitely use some prayer, as we are trying to make these decisions, and we are so encouraged by all your support, as we hopefully finish well (another blog about that later).
That is all for now. I hope you all have a great week, and please remember to pray for us!
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
January 23, 2016
ADOPTIONS! Now what...
WE GOT ADOPTIONS! PRAISE GOD! HALLELUJAH!
As most of you know, we got a call from our Lawyer on Thursday, and the judge approved our adoptions :)
We are overjoyed and so blessed that these two girls, who we met three years ago, are now officially our daughters, even though they have been in our hearts since the day we met them. It is like a huge weight has been lifted, and we can breath again.
A lot of people have been asking what is next, and so I would like to explain the rest of the process.
It is good to think of it less like a race in which we are at the finish line, and more like a hurdle race, in which we have cleared one more of the hurdles (a big hurdle).
I will go ahead and answer some of the big questions.
Q. Do you get to come home now?
A. Not immediately. Our adoption is a Cambodian adoption, having nothing to do with the United States, other than that Kelsi and I are American citizens. This means that we will need to take our Cambodia adoption decree and use it to get the girls U.S. Visas.
Q. How long until you can come home?
A. There are no certain dates, because it will depend on how long the visa process takes, and we will know more, after I speak with the Embassy, but September is looking like a probable date.
Q. What is the process, and why September?
A. The specific visa we will apply for is called the I-130 Petition for a Relative. It basically shows that the girls are adopted by American citizens and should therefore be allowed to inherit our citizenship. If the petition is approved, the girls will be given Immigratable Visas and we will come home. To get our I-130 approved, we need three things: an Adoption Decree (checkish), proof of residency for two years (check), and proof of legal custody for two years (check?).
Firstly, our adoption decree is final, but we there is a two week waiting period, in which the mother can appeal the adoption (Ron is not going to do that). After this, we will get another document that states there was no appeal. The last requirement is the reason we are thinking September as a likely return date. Some friends going through the same process (and a little ahead of us) were told by the Embassy that their legal custody started on the date of their Ministry of Social Affairs Foster care approval. We were granted our foster care from the Ministry in September 1, 2014, so two years from that date, puts us at September 2016. However, we have a strong contract with Bykota House under the supervision of the Ministry of Social Affairs dating back to September 2012. If the Embassy accepts that contract, than we can go home anytime after our I-130 is approved, and we will just pray about when. It is more likely that we will have to wait for September, but we can pray, and see what God does.
Q. When you get home, is that it?
A. No. We will still have to file other documents, but we will be in the States, and it will just be paper work. You will know when everything is completely done, and we have no more paper work.
Some things to be praying about. I am a teacher by profession. If we do come home in September, it puts me in a tough place to find a job. Really, schools start looking for teachers in March. I finish my term with CGI in June. My brother is getting married in July, in Poland, and I am the best man. These dates are not putting God in a box, but just to help with prayer. We would really like it if the Embassy accepts our Family Based Care Agreement with Bykota House as the start of our Legal Custody, but we are also fine with having a September date. To be honest, it feels like the end is in sight, and that is exciting. Whether it is three months or ten months out doesn't matter. We have our adoptions which is a huge answer to prayer.
Be praying that as we start to open up communication with the Embassy, that we find grace and mercy, and that we can remain patient as God works all these details out in His timing, which we know is perfect.
Thank you to everyone who has continued to lift us up in prayer, and those who have financially supported our ministry here in Cambodia. You have all been a blessing to our family, and we pray that God will bless you for your obedience and persistence.
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
As most of you know, we got a call from our Lawyer on Thursday, and the judge approved our adoptions :)
We are overjoyed and so blessed that these two girls, who we met three years ago, are now officially our daughters, even though they have been in our hearts since the day we met them. It is like a huge weight has been lifted, and we can breath again.
A lot of people have been asking what is next, and so I would like to explain the rest of the process.
It is good to think of it less like a race in which we are at the finish line, and more like a hurdle race, in which we have cleared one more of the hurdles (a big hurdle).
I will go ahead and answer some of the big questions.
Q. Do you get to come home now?
A. Not immediately. Our adoption is a Cambodian adoption, having nothing to do with the United States, other than that Kelsi and I are American citizens. This means that we will need to take our Cambodia adoption decree and use it to get the girls U.S. Visas.
Q. How long until you can come home?
A. There are no certain dates, because it will depend on how long the visa process takes, and we will know more, after I speak with the Embassy, but September is looking like a probable date.
Q. What is the process, and why September?
A. The specific visa we will apply for is called the I-130 Petition for a Relative. It basically shows that the girls are adopted by American citizens and should therefore be allowed to inherit our citizenship. If the petition is approved, the girls will be given Immigratable Visas and we will come home. To get our I-130 approved, we need three things: an Adoption Decree (checkish), proof of residency for two years (check), and proof of legal custody for two years (check?).
Firstly, our adoption decree is final, but we there is a two week waiting period, in which the mother can appeal the adoption (Ron is not going to do that). After this, we will get another document that states there was no appeal. The last requirement is the reason we are thinking September as a likely return date. Some friends going through the same process (and a little ahead of us) were told by the Embassy that their legal custody started on the date of their Ministry of Social Affairs Foster care approval. We were granted our foster care from the Ministry in September 1, 2014, so two years from that date, puts us at September 2016. However, we have a strong contract with Bykota House under the supervision of the Ministry of Social Affairs dating back to September 2012. If the Embassy accepts that contract, than we can go home anytime after our I-130 is approved, and we will just pray about when. It is more likely that we will have to wait for September, but we can pray, and see what God does.
Q. When you get home, is that it?
A. No. We will still have to file other documents, but we will be in the States, and it will just be paper work. You will know when everything is completely done, and we have no more paper work.
Some things to be praying about. I am a teacher by profession. If we do come home in September, it puts me in a tough place to find a job. Really, schools start looking for teachers in March. I finish my term with CGI in June. My brother is getting married in July, in Poland, and I am the best man. These dates are not putting God in a box, but just to help with prayer. We would really like it if the Embassy accepts our Family Based Care Agreement with Bykota House as the start of our Legal Custody, but we are also fine with having a September date. To be honest, it feels like the end is in sight, and that is exciting. Whether it is three months or ten months out doesn't matter. We have our adoptions which is a huge answer to prayer.
Be praying that as we start to open up communication with the Embassy, that we find grace and mercy, and that we can remain patient as God works all these details out in His timing, which we know is perfect.
Thank you to everyone who has continued to lift us up in prayer, and those who have financially supported our ministry here in Cambodia. You have all been a blessing to our family, and we pray that God will bless you for your obedience and persistence.
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
January 19, 2016
Emotions vs. Truth
Hello Everyone,
It has been a while since I have blogged about anything. I thought I would write something that has been on my heart for a while. It is the difference between what my emotions are telling me, and what I know to be the truth of God's word. We are constantly battling these two things. So I am going to write firstly my raw emotion with a blatant disregard for the truth, and then re-write the whole thing through the truth of God's word. This might get ugly, but it is ok, cause God loves us through the ugly times.
This stinks. This whole situation with our judge stinks. We have been waiting for months to hear from him about our case, and it has sucked. We assumed that we would have an answer as soon as six weeks and as late as three months, and instead it has been almost six months. He told us that we had to wait until I was 25, and when that time came, nothing. Our lawyer keeps telling us just a little while longer, but it feels like it is not gonna happen. Because the law says I have to be 20 years older than Abby to adopt her, and I am not, us getting adoptions is hopeless. We are not going to get adoptions, and we are going to be stuck in Cambodia for the rest of our lives (remember this is just emotional). There is no reason for us to be here. Everything we are doing here, we could be doing in the States with our family close by. God is not answering our prayers. He has forgotten about us. I want to go home. I want to be with my family. I want to put down roots and begin my life. This whole time in Cambodia has felt like limbo, and we are just stuck in perpetual waiting and never any consistency.
Ok. Goodness gracious. Allowing those thoughts to remain in your mind would drive anyone crazy. I am so blessed by the Psalms in this respect, because David lays it out there with God. He feels like God has forgotten him, and so he tells God, "Why have You forgotten me!?" God is not offended by this, but He gently reminds us of the truth. So here is the truth.
This situation does stink. But! God tells us that He can use any and all situations for our good if we trust Him (Romans 8:28). This doesn't mean we always get the answers we want or the pace we want, but it does mean that there is a purpose for us having to wait. I don't know what it is, but I don't have to know what it is, because I trust in the One who does. The laws do say that I have to be 20 years older than Abby, but God does not abide by mans laws, and I know He will make a way, if it is according to His will. The adoptions are not hopeless, because I believe in a God of hope. As far as being stuck in Cambodia, there is no place better than the will of God. For us, it is easier to determine where God wants us to be, because we have no choice in the matter. This should bring me a peace. We know that this is where God wants us for the time being, for this season (however long it may be), and that makes life simple. We can simply obey and continue the work God has for us here. And yes, we will always be doing the work of discipleship and spreading the gospel wherever God has us, so why is it a surprise to me that the things we are doing here apply to anywhere we live. I could lead worship, in the States. I could disciple people, in the States. I could teach, in the States. But, I am here, and God has seen fit to have me use my talents around the world, instead of in the States. Why? I don't care why... Why is a stupid question. You never get good, satisfying answers by asking "why." You just get more worries and anxiety. I'm sure someday, either this side or the other of eternity, I will have the answers to all the "why" questions, but for now, I trust. Kelsi and I were talking about how much we can relate to the Israelites in the wilderness. It does feel like we are wandering and just waiting, and yes, it is hard to put down roots in another country, especially when you don't feel called to be in that country forever, but what is the truth here? We are not meant to put roots down anywhere on this world. We are sojourners here. Our home is a heavenly home, and these "roots" I am referring to are really just the things that Jesus said to let go of to follow Him. Not one of us should be so connected somewhere that we are unwilling to leave it all behind for Christ. The longing I have to put roots down will not ever be satisfied completely until it is in my eternal home, anything else is temporal and fading. Finally, God has not forgotten us. He has answered our prayers in the past, and I believe He is answering our prayers now, in His perfect way. I would never ask that He give me exactly what I want, knowing that He has always worked everything out in the best way, with my best interest in mind.
This is the truth. And in all my emotions and worries and anxieties, this is what I am reminded of daily. So even though it is hard to hear sometimes, I know there is comfort in these words, when I truly believe them. I hope that I have not offended anyone with the first paragraph. I know God is not offended, cause He told me so. Thank you all for your prayers during this time and season in our lives. They are such a blessing to us.
BecauseHeLives
(I can face tomorrow, all fear is gone, I know He holds the future, and life is worth living)
Micah.
November 15, 2015
Court Case Update
We just got home from a church potluck, and I found an email in our inbox from our lawyer.
He went in to see the judge this week to check on the progress of our case, and the judge explained the two things keeping our case from moving forward at this point:
1. Both parents have to be 25 years or older to adopt.
I am currently 24 years old... my birthday is on December 31st, so this is not a huge issue--we may just have to wait until I meet the requirements to have a final decision on our case.
2. Both parents have to be 20 years older than the child being adopted.
This is new information to us, and is also terrifying, since there is nothing we can do about it, other than maybe ask for an exception. The good news is that because of the mix up with Abby's birth certificate (most of you are familiar with the fact that she is one year younger in her passport and birth certificate, due to a mistake when we filed for a new birth certificate), Abby is only 5 years old on paper--she will "turn 6" on January 22nd, 2016 (we know she is really seven though). This means that there is a brief period in which I am twenty years older than her, from December 31-January 22. I am hoping that the judge sees this and gives us grace on it. If not, I am not sure what our next step will be.
Please pray specifically about these two issues, and pray that God's will is done in this whole court case. We would love to come home as soon as possible, but there is a chance that God still has work for us to do, and so we may be here a while longer. Your continued prayer is so vital to our ministry and lives here in Phnom Penh. Thank you, and have a great Sunday!
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.
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