September 17th marked a year since Abby and Lily stated living with us. So much has changed in what seem like such a short time. When we first met Lily she was 18 months old, only had two teeth, didn't speak a word, and was scared of everyone except Micah. Now she is 2 years old, going on 3. She has a mind of her own, she is so funny, loves Disney princesses and her pink princess dress. Abby was tiny, had streaks of orange in her hair from malnutrition, was terrified of men, had night terrors and only spoke some Khmer. Now we can't get her to stop speaking (English) or stop bouncing. She no longer wakes up screaming in the night. She also loves Disney princesses and knows most of the movies word for word. I love my girls and can't wait to see what this next year with them brings!
Now for the real reason of this post:
A lot of people have been asking about progress with our
adoptions. Well, lots of things have changed
but there really hasn't been any progress.
I will start with the new law that took effect way back in January. If you will remember, they told us our
adoptions would be finished by last Christmas and then told us to wait for the
new law. We were okay with that, because
we were under the impression that everything would be finished by February or
March….so we waited…. and waited… and had a guy ask for a meeting that never
happened….and waited some more… we are still waiting! In this Mark and Rhonda have met with a
lawyer about pursuing foster care (which I will talk about a little
later). He said that there is nothing
written in the new law for people in our situation. There is a place for foreigners who are
living in their home country and have never met the child (except the American
end of this is still closed) and there is a place for Cambodians to adopt. There is nothing written for expats living in
Cambodia to adopt a child that is already living with them. I am going to let my frustration show and come
out to say that this is downright crazy stupid! There are so many people in our exact
situation that have been told “It’s no problem” and are now stuck until the law
changes again! Also, with all the
election hullabaloo, the minister of
social affairs (the guy in charge of adoptions)
has stepped down and a new guy is in place. We don’t know yet if this is good news or bad
news. We are praying it is good.
Side note: Micah and I did know about the Cambodian
government and that we might be here for quite a while before we decided to
take the girls in. We made a commitment
to God, to their mother, and to them that no matter what we are here for them
and will not leave them even if we live in Cambodia forever. Also, I understand that maybe God just wants
us here a little longer. I understand
that God knows the plans He has for us and has it all worked out. But I can’t
help but be frustrated that we have been told for a year now to just wait a
little longer and now are being told that there is no law for us.
I want to take a minute and tell you why it is so important
for us to have legal documents for our girls.
This part is really hard to tell people and unless you understand Cambodia
and the culture here you may not believe some of the things I am about to
write. Abby and Lily’s mother is a
Christian. She loves them and did not
give them up because she was unable to provide for them or because she did not
want them. She did what she did because
they are not safe with her. They have an
abusive father. He would come home some
nights from wherever he had been to beat on all of them and take money from
their mother. If she did not have enough
he would threaten to sell the girls.
This is a real thing in Cambodia.
Parents sell their children into sex trafficking, slavery, and for body
parts. You may think “well just report
him!” There is no such thing as child
protective services in Cambodia. At any
time he (or their mother for that fact) could come and take them back and there
is nothing we can do about it. NOTHING! Praise the Lord, as far as we know, the
father is somewhere in Thailand or Korea right now and we don’t really have to
worry about him.
There is one other thing we are looking in to and that is
foster care (as I mentioned earlier). With legal foster care we would have more
stand against their father wanting them back and could also get passports for
them. With those passports we could take
them to any country but America.
Remember, America is still closed for Cambodian adoptions and will not
issue tourist visas for them (yet).
Another good side to foster care and having their passports is that if
anything ever happened and we had to leave Cambodia for a while (medical
reasons, safety reasons) or if we just wanted to take a family vacation, we
could! Also, when adoptions do open or a
law gets passed for us we will be up front to be finalized. We are still looking into this and figuring
out how to go about it. Please pray that
God give us wisdom and favor.
So there you have it.
A lot has changed but at the same time nothing has really progressed. Please keep us in your prayers and pray that, while we wait for the laws to align, we can keep the girls safe and don't ever have to deal with their father. Thanks for all your support in this crazy crazy journey!
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