The Raw Truth

When Micah and I were engaged we decided to take a Dave Ramsey: Financial Peace course.  We had heard that a lot of marital spats stemmed from finances so we wanted to start as strong as possible, especially knowing (well thinking anyway) we would be living on teacher salaries our whole lives.  Little did we know we would actually be living on donor support as missionaries for three years and counting.  We have tried our best to follow our Financial Peace plan, envelopes and all.  We have tried to save up an emergency fund. We have tried to be good stewards of what God has blessed us with. But to be honest, it is really really hard.  Yes, I could write for hours about the ways God has provided for us but even so it is still difficult to live month to month hoping and praying your supporters don't forget about you.  Making every decision hoping you don't offend a supporter.  Only slightly more difficult is asking for the support in the first place.  The thought always runs through my head, "Who am I to be asking anyone for money.  It was our choice to adopt, not theirs, and now I am asking them to pay for it?"  In America when we needed more money we would just work more for it.  Micah would take on extra hours at the golf course, I would do different jobs at school.  But here, that is not an option, although I did try to sell my cakes for a while… I sold three.   Here we have to ask our family and friends when we need extra funds and that is hard! So hard and humbling.

It seems like every time we have some money saved up (the money that family and friends have so generously given to us) and we are in a comfortable situation, something happens and we need more for this reason or that.  So, once again I face my pride and ask.  I write my blog about why we need money this time and think "When are they going to get tired of me?"  But I bite the bullet and do it anyway, and I pray.  I pray that God will bless my writing, I pray that He would call someone to give, I pray that someone will be obedient to His calling just one more time.  And He always comes through!  In our three years in Cambodia we have not ever missed a meal, yes, there has been a few weeks that we lived on eggs and Mama Mei (Ramen Noodles) but God always provides for us.

So, here I am again… asking God to bless this writing, asking for Him to speak to your hearts, asking that someone be obedient to His calling.

Last week Micah met with our adoption lawyer and settled on a price ($4000), we were pretty excited because we were only a little short of that in our savings account and we still had some supporters in America waiting on the word to give their "Change for Adoptions."   Then Saturday happened… Micah woke up with appendicitis and needed emergency surgery (Blog Link).  In going back and forth from home to the clinic I had to dip into our savings to pay the tuktuks and to buy quick and easy food because I just didn't have time or energy to cook the meals I had planned for the week.  And of course today we got the bill for his surgery and hospital stay…$747 (still a lot cheaper than America) and that leaves us needing help once again.  At this point we still need $1300 for the lawyer (this still doesn't cover visas and such but we will cross that bridge after adoptions are final) and our doctor bill of $747.  We know that everything happens in God's perfect timing and that He will work everything out for His good but we also know that in order to receive we have to ask.

So I am asking you, reader, family member, friend, whoever you may be to ask God what He would have you do.  Is He asking you to give?  Is He asking you to pray for us?  Is He asking you to send an encouraging word?  Whatever your case may be all I ask is that you be obedient to God.

Thanks,

Kelsi

Micah Is Hospitalized

Some background here... About two week ago, a friend told me that she had some crazy stomach bug that was leaving her with horrible cramps in her stomach. A week ago, Kelsi had some stomach issues that cleared themselves up after a couple hours. So, on Saturday, when I woke up with horrible stomach pains, I assumed that it was that same bug. At five-thirty, I was uncomfortable, and it felt like someone was reaching inside of me and tearing at my stomach. I decided to tough it out, because I assumed it was the bacteria or a bug, but it was not. From five-thirty to ten, I lay in bed as my appendix was trying to burst. When I finally went to the hospital it turned out that I had abscessed appendicitis (google it). 

When I arrived at the hospital, our doctor said, "Let me guess, you have horrible diarrhea." I answered, "Nope. I actually have not gone to the bathroom all day." Her face changed, and she reached over to my stomach and pressed down on my lower right side, and I cried. She turned to the nurse and said, "We have to get this boy an emergency ultra sound, now." So I was sent in a tuk tuk to the nearest ultra sound clinic (twenty minutes away). The tuk tuk ride was awful... I cried every bump of the way. When we got to the ultra sound clinic, they did not want to see me, because I did not have an appointment, but they decided to let me go ahead, when I laid down on their floor... I guess they got that it was serious. During the ultra sound, the doctor was curious why my whole abdomen was in pain, so I explained that I had waited all morning and had been clinching in pain so much, that everything hurt at this point. She soon found out, clearly, that it was my appendix, and I rode back to our normal clinic with the ultra sound pictures. When I got there, our doctor gave me pain killers... THANK YOU, GOD, FOR PAIN KILLERS! I was like a new person. Kelsi and I went on to the surgery clinic which was about thirty minutes away, and they began doing the prep for my surgery. This involved a heart test (healthy heart, check!) and blood pressure (good blood pressure, check!).

I have never had surgery. This one was not a "knock you out" surgery. They gave me a shot in my spine, and I slowly went numb from the chest down... and it was the. most. terrifying. experience of my life. I grew up with three brothers, and we used to wrestle. Whenever they would gang up on me and pin me to the floor, I would have a sudden burst of adrenaline and break free, because I hate being pinned and not being able to move. As I felt my legs going numb, I freaked out. Not just a little freak out... my arms went numb because I was hyperventilating, and the anesthesiologist asked me if I would rather be knocked out for the rest of surgery, which of course I said yes to, but alas it was too late. It is a horrifying feeling to slowly lose the ability to move your body. Suddenly, your toe itches, and you can't move against the others to scratch it. The surgery itself was only about forty minutes long, but the anesthesia lasted for seven hours. I laid in a bed not being able to move, and was told that I was not allowed to sit up for twenty-four hours, not that I could.

After the surgery, I slowly gained feeling as the night went on, and I found out the joy of catheters. Halfway through the night, I finally asked the nurse to just take it out, because I could not sleep, and it seemed to not be working. I was right, it was not working properly, and he pulled it out... I'm gonna go ahead and type that again real slow so you get the picture better... he ppppuuuuullllllleeeeedddddd it ooooooooouuuuuuuttttttt! And after the longest second of my life, I slept for the rest of the night soundly.

The next adventure came the next morning, as I was transferred back to my regular clinic for post op. The nurse came in, and Kelsi asked when we were going to transfer, as most of the staff could not speak English, and we were eager to get answers about recovery time and when I could eat (I had not eaten since Friday night). The nurse picked up the phone, and then hung up and said, "Ok. We go now. Get up." I had not stood up since my surgery the day before, and now I was walking down three flights of stairs to a taxi, while holding my IV in the air. We then road in a taxi to our normal clinic. Here's a picture:



Once we got to our normal clinic, things got a little more comfortable. The staff speak better English and it is just more familiar. What I then discovered is that our doctor believes in using as little pain medication as possible during post op--"so that the patient doesn't over do anything." And when you have had a catheter, you find yourself in a situation in which you weigh how much you have to go to the bathroom against how much it is going to burn. I waited as long as possible, and finally, when I could not hold it anymore, I went, and I screamed, and I bashed my fist against the concrete wall.

It is now Tuesday, and I have two more days of recovery in the clinic before I can go home. Kelsi and the girls have come to visit me everyday in the morning and then at dinner time. I am ready to go home, and get back to normal life, as this weekend was a very painful one. I guess I should give some kind of reflection on this.

A lot of people take 1 Corinthians 10:13 out of context. They say, "God will never give you more than you can bear." I want to clear up that this verse is firstly speaking on temptation. God does not allow us to be in a position in which we have no choice but to fall to temptation, but He gives us a way of escape. This verse is not speaking on pain and suffering. I had a discussion with a friend once and we decided that we believe that God gives us more than we can bear all the time, purposefully. If we were able to handle all the pain and struggles of this life, we would never come to Him. This weekend has been the most painful weekend of my life, and because of that I drew near to God. When I was scared in surgery, I sang my favorite worship songs, and it calmed me down. At night, when I couldn't sleep, I cried out to God to give me rest. As I have been missing my family and my house, I ask God to be my sufficiency. 

We all have a choice when faced with difficulties in life. We can choose to take them and say that God is either not good or not in control or we can take them and say, God can make good of this, and I trust that no matter how terrible things are, He is always in control and will one day set all things right. I am certain that there will not be appendicitis in Heaven, and I am certain that when God created Adam, He did not plan for him to have it, either. Disobedience and separation from God have caused these pains, and I long for the day when I will be free from my sin and reunited with God. 

For now, please pray for my recovery, as I am still in quite a bit of pain, and I miss bedtime routine with my daughters and evenings with my wife. 

BecauseHeLives,

Micah.