Bible Study Corner: Wisdom (Middle Aged)

The last couple of weeks, we have been talking about wisdom. The middle aged kids and I started with a look at 1 Corinthians chapter two, and the distinction between earthly wisdom and the wisdom that God gives us through the Holy Spirit. We discussed how we need to look to the Bible to know right from wrong, and that it should be our guide in life. We defined wisdom as "The knowledge that God gives us to live our lives, and the understanding of the mysteries in the Bible."

After looking at 1 Corinthians, we went to an example in the Old Testament... wait for it. Nothing too surprising, we looked at 1 Kings 3:5-12. This is the story of when Solomon asked God for wisdom. I think most know the story, if you don't, go ahead and read it. And then skip over to Proverbs 2:3-10. I explained to the kids that Solomon actually wrote most of the book of Proverbs, and then we read these verses together. Basically, it says, if you call out to God for wisdom, and seek it as if it is something really important and valuable to you, He will give it you. I asked the kids if they thought Solomon really believed that, and they all said yes. Why? Because that is exactly what happened with him. He asked God for wisdom and God gave it to him. In the same way, we can ask God for wisdom, and if we seek for it in His word, He will give it to us. For the next couple of days, we studied various verses in Proverbs.

Proverbs 3:5--"Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding." I explained what the word lean means (you can never assume with these kids how much they understand). And we talked about how sometimes, we think we know better than God. For example, God says, "be pure," and we say, "well, but they love each other, and they will probably get married anyway." In this way, we are leaning on our own understanding, instead of on what God's word says. I finished by explaining that no matter how smart or logical something sounds, if it does not line up with Scripture, it is wrong.

Next we talked about Proverbs 18:1. In this verse we find that a man who isolates himself seeks his own desires and does not want to listen to any counsel. I explained to the kids that God has placed people with much experience in our lives to give us counsel and wisdom. Sometimes, when we are doing something we know is wrong, we will not talk to anybody about it, and it is because we do not want to hear them say that what we are doing is wrong.

The next day, we spoke on the following verse: Proverbs 18:2. A fool takes no pleasure in understanding but only in expressing his own opinion. In this passage we find that we must humble ourselves, and listen to others well. A study came out that said that most people when listening, are not truly listening, but are simply waiting for the other person to stop talking, so that they can speak. We are not called to live like that. We are to put others above our self, and this means listening to understand what they are saying. It means caring about what they have to say, because in doing so, you show that you care about them. I had planned on looking at Proverbs for a while longer, but decided to take a detour and focus on the aspect of God's wisdom that teaches us how to live, so we moved into Ephesians 4:25-30.

We began with discussing falsehood. I wanted the kids to understand that this was more than just lying. So many people are able to bend the truth and not feel the conviction that should come from such an act, because they justify or omit information. I wanted the kids to know that God calls us to be trustworthy. When we say something, we will do it. When we say something, we mean it. I used the example of one of  them running an errand for me. "I give the money and allow you to leave school to go buy snack for the kindergarten, and then an hour later, you return with way less snack than you should have." I ask, "What took you so long?" and he says, "I went to get the snack." I reply, "Is this all you were able to get with the money I gave you?" He replies, "Yes." In this example, we have two types of lies, the first is the justifiable, omitting kind of lie. It should not take an hour to get snack, but since he did not want to do school, he walked slowly and took a long time at the store. This is not honest behavior, even though he had permission to be gone. The second lie is the kind that we are used to hearing. It was not at all true. The snack was less expensive, and he pocketed the money. This is not only lying but stealing. In either case, God wants us to be trustworthy and honest people. At the end of the example, I made the point that even by worldly standards this was not the way people should act. I said, would you trust this person to go and buy something for you? And all in agreement said, "no." So deep down, even the world knows that God's wisdom should be the standard.

The next verse describes how we handle anger. I love to ask people new to the Bible whether it is ok to be angry, and then follow up with, "Was Jesus ever angry... was God ever angry?" Undoubtedly, someone always says, "No Jesus was never angry." And then you show them the passage when he drives the people out of the temple with a whip, and turns over the tables, and they say... "Ok. Jesus has been angry." I like to teach this passage of scripture with Matthew 18:15--"If your brother sins against you, go and tell him his fault, between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained your brother." Anger is an emotion that comes when someone has wronged us in some way. We learn in Ephesians that we can be angry without sinning. I told the kids that when we are angry, most of the time we sin. I am angry with Karona, and so I call him stupid or hit him. In this way, I was angry and sinned. However, there is another type of anger that comes. It is more dangerous in my opinion, and it is the one when someone has wronged you, and they don't seem to notice. This is the type of anger, that can be without sin, but then turn into hatred and murderous thoughts. In Ephesians we find that we should not let the sun go down on our anger. Meaning, we need to follow Jesus' advice to go to our brother and tell him how he has wronged us. Most of the time, when this is done, the person says, "I am so sorry, I didn't mean to make you feel that way." And we have restoration and the anger passes away with forgiveness. Paul goes on to write that if we do not go to our brother before the son goes down, we leave room for the enemy to come into our minds and lie to us. When we lay down to sleep is when our thoughts really begin to run. The Enemy is a liar and he works through deceiving us in our minds. He will come in and say, "That person hurt you so bad. They don't deserve to be forgiven, because they will probably just do it again. You know what? They have always been that way. I hate them." And in this way, we leave room for the enemy, when we ignore God's command to go to our brother and talk to him. God is in the business of reconciliation. It is ok to be angry, but do not let it become sin.

The next day, we discussed verse twenty-eight, which says, "Let the thief no longer steal, but rather let him labor, doing honest work with his own hands, so that he may have something to share with anyone in need." I found that with this topic, much like with the lying, the kids wanted to make it all about "do not steal." I decided to focus more on the latter half of the verse. Here we have a reason for working honestly with our hands. I explained to the kids that if we are seeking God's kingdom and righteousness, He will provide for our needs (we have talked about this before while studying Matthew 6). Sometimes, we are blessed with extra. Most people (including myself) take that as an opportunity to go and buy that new toy we have been wanting. In this verse we find that our purpose in working hard is to have "extra," so that we are able to share with those who need it. In life, we are both in excesses and in need, at various points. I wanted the BYKOTA Kids to understand that this excess can be used to bless others. That we can be the hands and feet of God by helping those who need it. We, as God's people, should not be lazy, but rather quick to work with our hands. For what purpose? So that we can provide for our family and have extra to help others in need.

The section that we covered today was about our words. I heard a sermon on this topic just a couple weeks ago, and he said that our words can be a gift, if we choose to make them one. I liked that idea. I focused on two words in this Bible study: corrupt and build-up. Our words can do two things, they can break someone down or pollute their mind, or they can build someone up and encourage them towards holiness. It is difficult sometimes with the language barrier to monitor how the children speak to each other, so I like to talk about our words a lot. Rhonda taught a small group lesson on this a couple months ago and used the analogy THINK. Think, "Is what I am about to say Truthful, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind?" In this way, we do not need to say everything that pops into our head. We choose to only say things that will build each other up. I showed the kids all the places in Proverbs that talk about controlling your words, and we discussed how our words matter.

We will continue to study in Proverbs, after we finish up this portion in Ephesians. We recently finished studying the Roman Road and Ephesians 2:8-10, in my attempt to give them a strong foundation in the Gospel. I thought that this study would help them get to know what God's word says about how we as followers of Christ should live.

I will post about what the older boys and I have been studying on a later date. I hope that this has encouraged you, and I also ask for your prayer that Christ would help me as I make disciples here in Cambodia.

Just in case you were wondering, I have nine kids in my middle school class: two girls and seven boys. One boy is nine, the rest are about twelve, and the girls are eleven and twelve.

Their names, if you would like to pray for them by name are:
Bee
David
Gene
Heng
Hiang
Karona
Ratanak
Timothy
Varee

BecauseHeLives,
Micah.

Family Matters: What's in a name?

So tonight during Khmer lessons we finally found out that Abigail and Lily's Khmer names have a meaning. We were told that they didn't mean anything when we first got them. Kels and I were cracking up over them after we found out. I think that it is funny how God can make a name fit so well. Firstly, Abby's Khmer name (and middle name) "Roat" means Sunflower. We had been spelling it wrong, and when we looked at the birth certificate it was Ro srak oauh Ta june gno... we couldn't figure it out, but our Khmer teacher immediately said, "Oh! This is how we spell it when it is used for sunflower." I was once nicknamed by a professor in collage "Jesussunflower." He told me to look up sunflowers, and I found that "They always point towards the sun and seem to reflect its image." Best nickname ever, and I am sorry to say that I do not live up to it. So Abigail Roat means "The Sunflower that brings the Father Joy." Totally fits Abby. She is so full of energy and always brings a smile to our faces, and I know her Father in Heaven's face is smiling on His little Joyful Sunflower. Lily Niet was slightly comical. Her name Niet means "Power" or "Authority" or "Bossy." Although she is younger than Abby, and most of the kids she plays with, she can not be pushed around. She is definitely the boss. Lily is a symbol of beauty in Cambodia, and so she is Beautiful and Bossy--which Kelsi says fits her Diva personality. I can make it sound better, though... she is a Beautiful yet powerful girl. I am so happy to have found out this information, and I am also continually amazed at the redeeming power of Christ. When I think back a year ago, when Abby and Lily came to live with us, I remember a terrified baby girl, and a quiet, orange-haired toddler who woke up with night terrors every night. I know that God is in the business of restoration, because I see it every day in my little girl's smiles.
BecauseHeLives,
The Bergens.  

Family Matters: Baby Names and Such

Hello Friends,
As most of you know, Kelsi and I are expecting our third daughter. If this is news to you, go back a few blogs and watch the reveal video with Abby and Lily. Kelsi and I have been working hard on coming up with a name. I think this is probably normal. We also wanted to keep it a secret until Baby Girl was born... unfortunately, we have a four-year old daughter who is a genius and does not understand secrets. Long story short, Abby spilled the beans on our name, so we decided to go ahead and tell everyone. Something that was important to us was that it meant something and that her middle name would be Khmer to match her big sisters. So that you can see what it looks like in Khmer, I am posting a picture. But to give the names of our children in order: Abigail Roat (4), Lilian Niet (2), and... drum roll please... Melody Roem (Due: February 25th). Roem is pronounced in two syllables first syllable is "row" as in a boat, and the second is "um" as in you don't know what to say. I will post a video soon and say it correctly. The word Roem, in Khmer, means dance. Here is the picture:

There you have it! I am quickly becoming out numbered... and I am ok with that. I love my girls, and I am excited to meet Melody in February or March, if she is late. That is all for now! Also, Kelsi will be making a trip back to the states in the spring/summer so that everyone can meet her. Please continue to pray that God works out His will with our adoptions, so that we can bring Abby and Lily home soon too! In His time, we are content. Thank you to everyone who has been so supportive of us. We had gifts come in after announcing the baby, and we were able to buy a crib, changing table, and stroller. We will slowly equip until Melody arrives. Have a blessed day!

BecauseHeLives,

The Bergens.

Also, here is a picture of Kelsi five months pregnant :)

Purpose of Our Blog...

Hello Everyone,
It has been a while since I have blogged consistently. I think that there are multiple reasons for that... sickness, business, ect... For me, the biggest thing is just not having anything "blog-worthy." I can see in our past blogs that this has been a place for updating everyone on what has been happening in Phnom Penh. We have told you about activities and school and trips, and told stories of how God has been providing for us in really cool ways. So I was thinking about the purpose of this blog, and if it is purely for updating, what do I do when we go an entire month in which we do school, have a birthday party, and play soccer... all these things are routine, and I have blogged about them before. Should I blog about them again? Or maybe I could just post a little thing that says "All is well, same same but different." (Same Same But Different is a famous phrase in Cambodia. They even have it on T-shirts). Then I started thinking that maybe it is time for our blog to go back to what it once was: a place for you to experience things in Cambodia. Start making "What is It?" videos again, and Khmer phrases. This is where I would like to take our blog, plus an addition of "Bible Study Corner." Every morning and afternoon, I teach the Bible--with the Middle aged kids and then with the older boys. I think that I will start posting what we have talked about during those times. It is usually about ten-twenty minutes of Bible study. I would also love to share the memory verse songs that I and the kids learn for our Bible memory! I would also like to include a section called Family Matters, in which I give updates not on our ministry but on what God has been doing in our home. So these are my ideas. The purpose of our blog, I believe, is to help all of our close family and friends live life with us, while we are far away. If you have any requests or ideas on what we could do on our blog, please email us at micah.kelsi@gmail.com. That's all for now!
BecauseHeLives,
The Bergens.

Soccer Day

You know how a while back, I told you guys about this really cool part of our ministry where I and the older boys go and play soccer? Well, the middle kids were jealous and so we went together a couple weeks back. The older boys really impressed me. They didn't complain, and they really involved the younger kids in the game. Everyone had a blast... so today, I decided we needed to go again, and it was awesome again! I love the kids I work with. I got some pictures finally of the field and such. I usually don't bring a camera, because that is dangerous... but this time, I had my phone and so here are some pictures of us at the soccer field!

Thank you guys so much for your support that allows us to take the kids out to do fun things. Soccer is one of their favorite things to do.
BecauseHeLives,
The Bergens.

Adoption Update

September 17th marked a year since Abby and Lily stated living with us.  So much has changed in what seem like such a short time.  When we first met Lily she was 18 months old, only had two teeth, didn't speak a word, and was scared of everyone except Micah.  Now she is 2 years old, going on 3.  She has a mind of her own, she is so funny, loves Disney princesses and her pink princess dress.  Abby was tiny, had streaks of orange in her hair from malnutrition, was terrified of men, had night terrors and only spoke some Khmer.  Now we can't get her to stop speaking (English) or stop bouncing.  She no longer wakes up screaming in the night.  She also loves Disney princesses and knows most of the movies word for word.  I love my girls and can't wait to see what this next year with them brings!

Now for the real reason of this post:

A lot of people have been asking about progress with our adoptions.  Well, lots of things have changed but there really hasn't been any progress.  I will start with the new law that took effect way back in January.  If you will remember, they told us our adoptions would be finished by last Christmas and then told us to wait for the new law.  We were okay with that, because we were under the impression that everything would be finished by February or March….so we waited…. and waited… and had a guy ask for a meeting that never happened….and waited some more… we are still waiting!  In this Mark and Rhonda have met with a lawyer about pursuing foster care (which I will talk about a little later).  He said that there is nothing written in the new law for people in our situation.  There is a place for foreigners who are living in their home country and have never met the child (except the American end of this is still closed) and there is a place for Cambodians to adopt.  There is nothing written for expats living in Cambodia to adopt a child that is already living with them.  I am going to let my frustration show and come out to say that this is downright crazy stupid!    There are so many people in our exact situation that have been told “It’s no problem” and are now stuck until the law changes again!  Also, with all the election hullabaloo,  the minister of social affairs (the guy in charge of adoptions)  has stepped down and a new guy is in place.  We don’t know yet if this is good news or bad news.  We are praying it is good.

Side note: Micah and I did know about the Cambodian government and that we might be here for quite a while before we decided to take the girls in.  We made a commitment to God, to their mother, and to them that no matter what we are here for them and will not leave them even if we live in Cambodia forever.  Also, I understand that maybe God just wants us here a little longer.  I understand that God knows the plans He has for us and has it all worked out. But I can’t help but be frustrated that we have been told for a year now to just wait a little longer and now are being told that there is no law for us. 

I want to take a minute and tell you why it is so important for us to have legal documents for our girls.  This part is really hard to tell people and unless you understand Cambodia and the culture here you may not believe some of the things I am about to write.  Abby and Lily’s mother is a Christian.  She loves them and did not give them up because she was unable to provide for them or because she did not want them.  She did what she did because they are not safe with her.  They have an abusive father.  He would come home some nights from wherever he had been to beat on all of them and take money from their mother.  If she did not have enough he would threaten to sell the girls.  This is a real thing in Cambodia.  Parents sell their children into sex trafficking, slavery, and for body parts.  You may think “well just report him!”  There is no such thing as child protective services in Cambodia.  At any time he (or their mother for that fact) could come and take them back and there is nothing we can do about it.  NOTHING!  Praise the Lord, as far as we know, the father is somewhere in Thailand or Korea right now and we don’t really have to worry about him. 

There is one other thing we are looking in to and that is foster care (as I mentioned earlier).  With legal foster care we would have more stand against their father wanting them back and could also get passports for them.  With those passports we could take them to any country but America.  Remember, America is still closed for Cambodian adoptions and will not issue tourist visas for them (yet).  Another good side to foster care and having their passports is that if anything ever happened and we had to leave Cambodia for a while (medical reasons, safety reasons) or if we just wanted to take a family vacation, we could!  Also, when adoptions do open or a law gets passed for us we will be up front to be finalized.  We are still looking into this and figuring out how to go about it.  Please pray that God give us wisdom and favor.

So there you have it.  A lot has changed but at the same time nothing has really progressed.  Please keep us in your prayers and pray that, while we wait for the laws to align, we can keep the girls safe and don't ever have to deal with their father. Thanks for all your support in this crazy crazy journey!