Foster Care in the Works

Well, as most of you know, Kelsi and I have been working on obtaining foster care through the Ministry of Social Affairs. Previously, we had a Family Based Care Agreement with Bykota House, which basically was foster care through our children's home ministry. Foster care through the Ministry of Social Affairs is much stronger. I began putting paper work together, after Kelsi left for her month in the states--thought I might have some extra time on my hands, and I did. Just an update on what we have been up to, this is the list of things that we need to apply for foster care--with the things marked out that we have already obtained.

For the Foster Parent:

    1.    Letter of Request to the Minister of Social Affairs

    2.    Supporting letter from the Center where the child resides written to the Minister.

    3.    Affidavit from the US Embassy 

    4.    Medical certificate

    5.    Marriage certificate

    6.    Birth certificates

    7.    Psychological report

    8.    Family Based Care Agreement

    9.    House lease agreement

   10. Certificate of residence

   11. Financial statement

   12. Certificate of employment

   13. Copies of passports

   14. Copies of visas

   15. Criminal Background Check

      For the foster child:

   16. Birth certificates

   17. Documents of admission to the Center or orphanage

   18. CV (history) of the child prepared by the Center

   19. Supporting letter from the Center

   20. Documents on Abigail’s eye

   21. Visa picture for the girls

***Translated copies of all documents originally written in English***

The Affidavit should be done tomorrow afternoon. The Medical certificate will be done as soon as our doctor knows what she is supposed to be checking for. The Psychological report is done, but we are waiting on the original copies to arrive from Batombong. Still looking into the Criminal Background check... online it says that we have to send everything by mail, so we will probably prepare all the materials and have them brought over to Kelsi's mom in the states, but then it says that it will take at least 25 days to process, and then we will have to get the report back to Cambodia some how--the mail is not reliable here. After that we have some forms in Khmer that a friend is going to help us with, and we can apply at the Ministry of Social Affairs for foster care. No it is not an adoption. A friend of ours, however, who has this has been able to get a travel visa for her son and take a trip to the States. This legal tie is a big step towards adoptions, too. If you are Khmer and have foster care through the Ministry, after six months, they encourage you to adopt. Things seem to be moving at the US Embassy too. Today, when they rejected our Affidavit, they gave us an example form that was for when an American needs to apply for a Cambodian Adoption and needs an Affidavit stating that they have informed the US Embassy. It is a slow process, but it is exciting to see movement towards something tangible. Please keep praying for us, and pray specifically for all of this paper work to come together and for us to have favor with the Ministry of Social Affairs. God has plans greater than ours, and we are trusting Him, as we walk on this path in Cambodia. Thanks for your support and prayer!

BecauseHeLives,

Micah.

UPDATE!:
We got the Affidavit signed today! WOOT! May 29th, 2014

UPDATE!:
We received the Psychological Evaluation today from Batombang! Yeah!!!! Only two more things! May 31st, 2014

UPDATE!:
We found out that the medical check ups did not need to be for us, but for the girls, so we had some worked up by our doctor--basically saying that we have been taking the girls in for check ups and have taken care of their shots. DONE! June 1st, 2014

UPDATE!:
We found out that our background checks did not need to be professional FBI backgrounds. Kelsi's grandpa, Wendell, was able to get us what we needed through his Kamp Kersey connections. We have them now, and that concludes all the things that we were supposed to get together for foster care!
June 9th, 2014

UPDATE!:
I spoke with Channa today (Channa is helping us get our stuff together to apply), and we have one more piece of paper work (a Khmer application) and then we can apply. Currently, we have been told that foster care applications are on hold, due to something in the government, or because someone did something bad--that is usually how it works. We will apply as soon as possible. We are meeting with Channa tomorrow to sign the Khmer Application. 

Birth Date?

So, as many of you know, it is very difficult to pin down birthdays for children at a children's home. We have had some who did not even know their own birthday. When Abby and Lily came to us, we were told that Abby's birthday was February 14th. So adorable! She is a valentines baby! After we had learned a bit more Khmer, we checked again, and realized that it was not February 14th, but rather February 22nd. Well, Kelsi and I have been working on gathering the paper work to apply for foster care through the Ministry of Social affairs, and since my Khmer reading is a little bit better, I decided to look at the girl's paper work again, and Abby's birth certificate has her birthday as January 22nd! And even more than that, we though she was born in 2009, and her birth certificate says that she was born in 2010! Which would make her four years old NOT five! Kelsi is convinced that she could not be four years old. Our Khmer teacher helped me read the documents, and he is sure that it is accurate. I chose to believe that my daughter is the smartest four year old ever! Oh Cambodia! We are looking into the validity of the document, but most likely we will have to go with what it says, whether we think it is correct or not. That is just the way it works here sometimes: documents are wrong, and that is that. That is all. Just thought you would find this amusing. So with this change in Abby's birthday, our family has my birthday on December 31st, Lily's birthday on January 20th, Abby's birthday on January 22nd, Kelsi's birthday on January 23rd, and Melody's birthday on January 25th. What a birthday season! I see some group birthday blow-outs in our future!
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.


UPDATE:
We have verified that Abby was born on January 22nd, 2010, and she really is four years old. I spoke with the girl's aunt who is on staff at Bykota House, and after intense questioning on my part, she finally was perplexed when I asked, "How old would you say Abby is?" Her reply, "She is four..." Ok. So, that is settled, and my daughter is a genius.

School of the Nations Update

Our school is always fluctuating. Since I have been here, we have tried different types of teaching, different methods of groups, and every time you think you got it figured out, something new happens. This year, we had the fluctuation of Kelsi having Melody--she was teaching our elementary group. Put together a rotation schedule that divides my time between them and the older boys, and utilizes peer mentoring, and that hurdle is jumped. The elementary is a great group, and I really enjoy teaching them. A new hurdle is a system that I am in the process of creating (with Kelsi's help) called Pace Book Online. It is basically a bunch of interactive PDF documents that help the young kids become familiar with the words they see in their pace books. It is basically curriculum development. The middle school group had been working great. I spent a year working on a system to meet the needs of a group that ranges from no English at all (speaking, writing, reading, nothing) to practically high school level (speaking fluently, writing creatively, reading with ease). Finally had a group system worked out and it was going splendidly, and then we had a new student, so my groups were blown to pieces. Recently we lost a student. He went to be with his family who is now able to take care of him. Most of you know Timothy from the "What Is It!?" videos. He will be missed very much. I keep finding things that remind me that he is gone, and it is weird, because I am happy that he gets to be with his family, but also saddened that my time with him was cut short. He has made so much progress and he is a joy to be around. With his leaving, my groups for middle school were obliterated, and I basically had to start over. That is the reality in any school system. At the moment, I believe that our system is pretty awesome, with a rotation schedule that meets the needs of every student and also has time for speaking, writing, listening to, and reading English. I get to teach with a ratio of one to three, because of the rotations, and this ensures that the kids are getting the most attention. When we have teams, it is a one to one ratio, but I am confident that anyone could teach this class by themselves, after some training. I am in the process of creating a "School of the Nations Plan" that lays out how to run the school, because in the months of January and February, I was pretty well absent. This has been an amazing experience for me, and I have gained so much experience with curriculum development, classroom management, and even being a principal. If God ever allows/calls Kelsi and I back to the states, I will have a pretty great resume from my time as School Administrator at School of the Nations ;) Well, that is the update on how the school has been going. If you have any questions, please let me know. Also I am happy to share material.
BecauseHeLives,
Micah.

The Countdown - Suitable Partner

This is a shameless blog about how much I love my wife. If you are not in the mood for a mushy, gushy blog, then I suggest you let this one slip.

It is exactly  five days and four hours until I get to see my wife again. There have been a few people who have told me that they have spent up to month(s) (that is plural) separate from their spouse, and I think that is unbearable.

I want to start by first saying that I am very glad that my wife was able to go back to the States and spend time with family and friends, and re-charge (she had not made a trip back since we came in June 2012). I know how important it is to leave right. We came to Cambodia and stayed longer than we expected (God wasn't surprised), and there is a certain amount of closure that I think helps, when you are able to be in the States and leave, knowing that you will not be back for a while (a long while). I say all of this, so that you don't think that I didn't want Kelsi to go. I am glad she went, and I am glad that she is coming back in five days, three hours, and fifty-five minutes.

I have had many people ask me how I am doing with the girls and such, and my answer has been, "Things are good. We are eating and sleeping. The girls are great." And that is true, Kelsi and I have a great routine for bedtime, morning time, eating time, and so all of these things go on. Kelsi made it even easier, because she made me a bunch of pre-cooked meals, that I only needed to heat up, and we have had great dinners. People have asked me whether I need help with food, and I have answered truthfully... no, because Kelsi took care of it--even I can throw something in a pan and heat it up. So, I have been fine, the girls have been great. We are surviving.

I think that people like to be valued. Part of being valued is being missed. I think when people leave, they secretly hope that things don't go so well, because they want to know that they play a key role. Kelsi and I both have a flaw. It is called 'pride' technically, but it shows itself in not wanting to be needy and ask for help. We put on a brave face, and only when things are completely unbearable, do we ask for assistance (yes, I know we need to work on it, but there has to be other people in the world who need more help than us). The point is that things have not been super great. There is a huge part of our family gone. I am not wanting to complain or make anyone, especially Kelsi, feel bad, but I want everyone to know that when my partner in crime, and life sharer is away, things do not just move on like normal. She is my heart. She shoulders the load of life with me, and sometimes carries me on her back on top of the load. Without her, everyday seems a little less beautiful. My bed is empty, other than Muggy, and he is a poor substitute.

I find it funny the way people sometimes talk about their spouses, and you almost want to step in and say, wait, you should talk about God that way, it is almost blasphemous to talk about your wife that way. You are wrong. My relationship and love of my wife is a reflection of Christ's love for the church. And the deeper I love my wife, the better I understand Christ's love for us. Of course I love God more than my wife, don't be silly. To say that I need her and love her more than all the gold in the world, is both truthful and not blasphemous.

God saw Adam in the garden and said, we should make him a partner that is suitable for him. I know that God has different callings for some people, and Paul would say that it is better to remain single, but God looked down and saw me, and said, he needs a partner suitable for him, and He sent Kelsi to me. Some people have fallen off of the "true love/soul mate" wagon, because they say we don't have one perfect person for us. They say that this mindset has led to divorces, because people get married and then find their "soul mate," and it is not their wife or husband. They also say that this idea has put fear into people who now think that they might chose the wrong person. In reality, we get to make the choice and it should be based on wisdom not emotions, I agree with all of those things. But, as a very wise and beautiful woman once said, "It is kind of like the whole free will versus predestined argument. God chose us, because He knew that we would choose Him. In the same way, God knew who you would choose to marry all along, and so they are the person that God had for you all along." - Kelsi Bergen. She is the person that God had for me. He knew who I needed, and he brought her to me. In a time when I thought I knew everything, God came and said, "Nope. This girl is the person who will help you grow into the man that I really want you to be." She is humble and faithful. She is gentle, but she does not get pushed around. She is not afraid or worried, but quietly trusts in the Lord. She is not perfect, and neither am I, but we are both willing to allow God to work in us, through each other. That is what marriage is about: God takes two people and binds them together into one, and they begin to become more like Christ, because they have each other as an example of Christ and His love. You think as a single person that your way is the best way, and when you get married you find out that it is not, and God opens your eyes to see that He works in so many different ways. Kelsi, my wife, is so much like Christ, and I know that I would not be the man I am today, without her.

So, yes, life has gone on. We have been ok, but I could not look you straight in the face and tell you that my life is at all close to being great. I think most husbands would agree, my life on the inside is a train wreck when she is away. My desire to do anything slowly fades. Who do I share my experiences with, day to day? My partner in crime is not around...

My life is about pleasing God and glorifying Him, loving my wife the way Christ loves the church (you know that He is longing to be reunited with us), being a father to my daughters in the same way that God is a father to me, and loving others, even those that do not treat me well, especially those that don't treat me well. I love my wife more than any other person on the planet, even though there are some close seconds--like the two that are asleep in their beds right now, and the one that will be in my wife's arms when she returns in five days, three hours, and thirty minutes. She is the one that I choose to spend the rest of my life with, and the one that God created just for me. I do not claim to understand heaven. I know that Jesus said in heaven we will not be married or get married, but I wonder if I will remember Kelsi as my wife, in heaven. I don't know how our memory will work. I know that there will be no more tears in heaven and no more sin, so there will be some part of my time here on earth that I will not remember, but I hope that I get to recall this beautiful blessing and how she impacted my life on earth, so I can thank God to His face for creating such a perfect helper for me and praise Him for being a good God. Thank God for giving me such a great wife. Oy! I can't wait to kiss her when she gets back, I miss her like crazy!

Ok. Mushy-gushy over. Have a good day, everyone! I am going to sleep one of the five more sleeps I have to, before my wife is laying next to me again.

BecauseHeLives,
Micah.