WHAT IS IT!? Episode Three

In this weeks edition of WHAT IS IT!? we will be introduced to Mekerah :)
The options are:
a. Chocolate
b. Blood
c. Cambodian Butter
d. Cambodian Jelly

Enjoy :)

Purity Retreat and Sewing Class

Hey Everybody!

Life goes on here in Cambodia. We have two things that we would like to share with you that happened recently. The first has to do with my Bible study and the second with Kelsi’s sewing class. This blog will most likely have nothing in it about the school, so if you are searching for school related things, you will not find them in this post. What you will read about is what Kelsi and I do with the kids of BYKOTA House, when we are not feeding their brains with education. 

Bible Study: Purity Retreat.

This past weekend, Mark and I took the young men of BYKOTA House on a retreat weekend to Kingdom Resort (which is basically a hotel with a cool pool and a restaurant). Our goal was to teach them about sexual purity. This topic is not a super comfortable one for teenage boys, so we wanted to make it fun as well as work. The program we used was an audio led series of five sessions with physical pictures of the concepts contained in activities that Mark and I did with the boys. The first session was about simply introducing the topic and goal of the retreat. I was very surprised at the topics covered, but I was also glad for the sake of the boys, because I feel that it was thorough enough as to not leave any questions in their minds. Our first project was entitled “Puzzled” and in it we broke the six boys into two groups. The group to complete the puzzle first would get a prize. One group had the puzzle in a plastic bag. The other group had the puzzle, the lid with the picture, and I helped them (I am kind of a puzzle expert, since our family usually had a puzzle on the table during the winter season). Although Mark explained to the other group what to do, he did not physically intervene. I on the other hand was all over that puzzle. The end result was that my group finished their puzzle first (of course). The picture of it was a good one: life is difficult (especially puberty), you need three things to get you through it. One, the word of God: the puzzle is much easier, if you have a clear picture of what it is supposed to look like. Two, someone with more experience than you: the puzzle is easier, if you have someone who has gone through it getting involved in your life and helping you. The boys that were on Mark’s team were a great picture of this, because he told them what to do, but they did not do it. On the other hand, when my team allowed me to get involved and help them, they were successful. Third, you need brothers in Christ: the battle for purity is especially difficult for loners. God never intended for us to fight it alone. We need the encouragement and accountability of our brothers in Christ. The second project was polluted water. We discussed the importance of good friends and peer pressure. In this project there was a jug of water and six glasses of water. Three were filled with water colored with food coloring and the other three were plain water. When you have friends with the same values as you, the things that they pour into your life are fine and only fill you more—aka help your walk with God. But when you hang out with people who are opposed to the truth of the Bible, they pollute your thoughts, heart, and attitude. The third project was after we got into sexual purity, and it was to show the importance of waiting until your wedding night to have sex. We discussed purity the whole weekend as a gift for our future spouses and a protection for our sisters in Christ. In the third project we took matches and had each boy light the match and immediately blow it out. We then asked them to try to light the match again. We explained that this was a symbol of their virginity. You can only give away your virginity one time to one person. We then placed a match in the water for a minute. When I took it out it was saturated with water. When I tried to light it with another match, it would not light at first. I told the boys that if they would saturate their hearts in God’s word and saturate their minds with Christ, their virginity would be better protected. As I held the lit match near the wet one, the wet match lit as usual, however. I explained that no matter how much you saturate yourself in God’s word, if you place yourself in bad situations long enough, you will fall—just as 1 Corinthians 10:12 says. We had finished the discussion on the subject of the importance of virginity, and I felt like God wanted me to mention if virginity had already been lost. I do not like to assume anything about anyone, and I stated that to the guys. I give them the benefit of the doubt, but I also will not automatically assume that since they grew up in a Christian Children’s home that they had not possibly already given away their virginity. I would have never thought to mention it, so I think that God had special plans for the words that were spoken. The next section was on boundaries. We were moving into the phase of the purity retreat in which we were going to discuss relationships. Boundaries are important to have in mind before you begin any relationship, because the decisions you make in the “heat of the moment” are always to give up boundaries. The boys listed out everything from holding hands to sexual intercourse in order of safest boundary to least safe. They had a hard time with this, until we told them to think of a progression. I said, “If you had a girlfriend, what would be the first thing you would do?” And then the next, and then the next, until we reached sexual intercourse. They then drew a line of the furthest they would go. At first, some did not understand this and drew the line at sexual intercourse… So I asked, “So do you think that it is safe to undress with someone?” They quickly said “NO!” I kept asking the next thing until they finally said that it was ok. We then used project number four, which was the leaky balloon. Basically, the balloon is full of your purity, and as you make little decisions about how far you will go, you poke holes in it. I thought it was pretty cool, because as we were discussing how one thing leads to another and it is very difficult to hold boundaries as far as kissing and hugging passionately, I accidentally poked the balloon not on the tape, and it burst all over the floor. After I got over being shocked, I coolly said, “And then before you know it all you purity is gone…” The last session was on the importance of waiting to date until you are prepared to be looking for a wife. It discussed how we can get so attached to another person that we lose all of our other friends and end up having to have that one person in our life. I thought it was good, because the boys needed to understand that a relationship with a girl too early can easily break all friendship with your brothers in Christ who are supposed to be growing with you through life. I heard a speaker at a getaway event about purity once say, “If you roll over in the morning and see your wife, and she is your best friend, you have it really good. If you roll over in the morning and see your wife, and she is your only friend, you have a problem.” I wanted the boys to hear something to that effect this weekend, and it was said. It is an aspect of early relationships that I think most people don’t see. The damage that it has on relationships with your brother’s in Christ. The project for this illustrated the damage with two pieces of construction paper. They were glued together, and then when the boys tried to tear them apart, they left pieces of themselves behind. I thought that this was a fantastic picture of sexual relationships, also. The Bible says that when you have sex with someone, the two of you become one flesh. If someone continues in casual sexual relationships, they slowly lose themselves to other people. I think that it showed the seriousness that God talks about with sexual purity. Most people think that it is just in then out and nothing more… but Biblically, you lose part of yourself each time you connect to someone and then leave them for another casual sex partner. Other than learning a great deal about purity, we had a blast. We swam during our break time, and played mafia until eleven o’clock at night. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us, and especially to our sponsors for providing the funds so short notice for the retreat—it made it more special to get away with the boys, than if we had just stayed at home. I know God did some great work over the weekend.   

Hand over the eyes...

"Hey Savorn, why did you cover your eyes?" "It so bright." "Ok. Keep your eyes open this time" FLASH! Immediately after the picture is taken, "Ah!" 

"Savorn, have you ever eaten a burger before?" "No." "I'm gonna take a picture of you eating your first burger!" "Wait... I mean, have you ever in your life eaten a burger?" "Oh. Yes." "So you meant that this was your first burger here." "Yes." Lame...

The boys were not a fan of the air conditioning... At one point, I turned  the air conditioning to the lowest degrees and turned on the overhead fan... IT WAS HILARIOUS! 

You can't burn down Cambodian hotels with just one match, because they are coated with tile and there are no carpets! :)

And we're chilin at the pool :)

This is what happens when you ask the waitress if the burger has tomatoes and lettuce, she says no and you ask for tomatoes... you find out that the burger does in fact have tomatoes and lettuce, AAANNNNNDDDDD they bring you an entire plate of tomatoes... Which I thought was hilarious, considering the plate the burger came on had tomatoes on it...

  

Sewing Class:

Kelsi said that she really just wanted to post some pictures of the end product of the sewing class renovation, and the girls working on their masterpieces. Here are some pictures. Again, thank you to everyone who gave especially for this project, the girls enjoy it so much, and just today Mekerah was talking about how she was so excited to make headbands—one of her friends from Singapore wanted one as well. 

P.S. We survived our first week as parents of two children... we are pretty blessed, they are the greatest. Abigail Roat (Abby) is already answering to Abby, and Lily Niet has warmed up to Kelsi. Lily was very attached to me, and would not go to Kelsi without crying, but since I was gone over night and most of Saturday, she got some mommy daughter time, and now Lily cries if I take her from Kels! God is mending this family together. Please pray for Abby, though. Coming from an abusive father, she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. If I try to console her, she gets even more scared, so Kelsi has to wake up with her every time. Pray that God would cleanse her mind of all the bad memories of her past, and that He would fill it with His light and love. I love the family that God has given me, and my wife rocks my socks off with how awesome a mother she is to the girls. I am blessed beyond words. That's all. We love you guys!

BecauseHeLives,

Micah and Kelsi. 

Big News, Big God

Hey Everyone,

          This is a very special update. It may come as a surprise, and it was to us also. About two months back, we had a new addition to BYKOTA House—Srey Roat and Srey Niet. Their mother left them at BYKOTA House in an attempt to protect them from an abusive father/husband. The mother’s plan was to get a job in Korea and raise money to support the girls. After meeting the girls, Kels and I knew that there was something special with them. We love all the kids of BYKOTA House, but these two just seemed to burden our hearts a little more and plague my thoughts at night (haven’t been sleeping well, lately). It was burdening our hearts enough that we began to pray about what God might have us do for the girls—possibly He wanted us to sponsor them or raise support for Roat’s eye surgery—we didn’t know. As the days went on, Kelsi and I began to remember a conversation we had while we were dating about how many kids we wanted to have. The conversation went something like this: Me: “Kelsi, how many kids do you want to have?” Kelsi: “I want to adopt two children and have two children.” I obviously already had a response ready, when I asked the question, and it just happened to be the exact same thing. I don’t know when it happened for me, but I just remember distinctly thinking that I wanted to adopt two kids and have two kids. The conversation was simply curbed, because we were informed before we came to Cambodia that adoptions from Cambodia were closed. One night, we decided to just ask about it, because we knew that Mark and Rhonda had adopted children, and Cambodia has been closed to adoptions for quite some time. When we discussed it with them, they explained that adoptions were closed for foreigners trying to adopt from Cambodia into the United States, from the United States, but that adoptions within Cambodia were open. What they had done with their recent adoptions was a process in which the child is adopted in Cambodia, they have legal residence with the parents for two years, and then they are available to receive visas for America and apply for American passports: basically, you can adopt children within Cambodia and stay if you want, but the process to go back to America is a two year process (approximately). When Kelsi and I heard that we were cautiously excited. We contacted our parents and asked them to begin to pray for us. It was shocking news. We began to make contact with the mom of the girls, and found out that she is a great godly woman. We tried to help her into a ministry that helped mothers and their children, but she wasn’t sure that would work for her. We wanted to find out what her intentions were, so Rhonda had a meeting with her and asked what her plans were with the girls. The mother explained that she was going to go to Korea and work to support the girls. When Rhonda explained that since BYKOTA House is a children’s home, they might be adopted, the mother became overjoyed and cried. In Cambodia, it is greatly thought that the best thing that can happen for your children is that they get adopted by a “wealthy white family”. It is a broken country with broken families, and Cambodia needs a lot of prayer that God would bring it back from Pol Pot’s terror and that the family unit would be restored as it once was. After the mom’s response, Kelsi and I began to pray about God’s will for us in this situation. We wanted to adopt, but we always felt that it would happen after we had settled down and had our two children first. As we continued to pray about it, we met with the mother to explain our hearts and ask her what she thought about it. The first meeting went really well, the mother has such a beautiful heart and loves God very much. She explained that she wanted to spend some time praying about if we were the right family for the girls. About a week later, she came back for our second meeting. Rhonda had prayed beforehand felt like God had laid the word PEACE on her heart. She decided that if the mother did not use the word peace in the meeting, she would know that we were moving too fast or the mother was only doing it out of pressure—not out of God’s leading. The mother sat down and said, “I have been praying the past couple days, and I feel such peace in my heart that God has brought you into my girls lives to take care of them. God gives authority to parents over their children, and I would like to give it to you. I know that you are a godly family, and I want Roat and Niet to grow up knowing God.” After the mother giving approval and God giving all of us peace in our hearts, we became the parents of Abigail Roat (three years old) and Lily Niet (eighteen months old). We are pursuing the adoption of these girls currently (Cambodian) and will be seeking American visas and citizenship in two years (Don’t count two years from now, because in Cambodia dates are not perfect). I would like to share something the mother said: “Each day I prayed to God that He would provide for my girls a better future than abusive fathers and alcoholism. I prayed that God would send someone who would love both of my daughters and take care of them.” It seems odd, but the mother believed that after Roat’s eye accident, she would never be adopted. Basically, it was the end of hope for the mother, because, in Cambodia, children with disabilities are discarded and not wanted. When Niet was born, she believed that someone would adopt just her and leave Roat behind. She earnestly prayed that God would bring a family who would love and “not see” Roat’s injured right eye. Roat is a joy (which is why we are calling her Abigail—Father’s Joy). I can’t imagine ever not loving her, because her right eye is blind. When I think about how God works, I am amazed. When Roat was born is about the same time that Kelsi and I had the conversation about how many children we wanted to have in our family: Two. As Srey Ron (the girls’ mother) began to pray for Roat, God had already placed it in our hearts to adopt. We have brought Roat and Niet into our little home away from home and we will continue to pursue with God’s direction adopting them. If you are wondering why this is the first you are hearing about this, I would like to explain that this is not something in our personal lives, that we were trying to hide. When we began seeking and knocking about adoption, we were warned to guard our hearts. Even now, there are many hurdles to overcome. At any moment, everything could be over, and we did not want to start spreading the news, until we were sure that God was saying, “yes.” I understand that this comes as a shock. We are here to serve with the Benz family, and that has not changed. Although having two children comes with more responsibility, we are still committed to our service—just as people who have their children continue to serve in their local church. Our ministry description has only changed to include the care of two beautiful blessings. I have been warned that by extending our time in Cambodia and adopting two children we may bring on judgment from some, but God is the ultimate Judge, and when He has planned something, it will happen—and His plans are wonderful plans. At this point in the update, I would like to give the summary of information that you have just read:

          We are pursuing the adoption of Abigail Roat (three years old) and Lily Niet (eighteen months old), with the blessing of their mother (Srey Ron). They have moved in with us and in our minds and hearts, though not legally, they are our daughters. There are many hurdles to overcome, and it could be that the adoption does not end with us having the girls: please pray for God’s will. For the adoption process, we must stay at least two years, beginning on the day that we obtain legal guardianship of the girls.

          What this means for you. Firstly, if you do not feel comfortable supporting us financially anymore, we understand—but please continue to pray for us as we continue seeking God’s will. Also, the expenses of the girls will not increase our monthly budget a whole bunch (maybe $200-$300), but our sponsors agreed to fund us only through March (nine months was our original time frame). We are beginning to seek out more sponsors for this longer period of service. I would ask that you pray about possibly becoming a financial sponsor. I know that God will provide. Please pray for God’s hand in all of this, and we will keep you well informed on everything that God is doing in Cambodia, just as we have been.

          We are very excited about what God has in store for the next couple of years. It is going to be a long hard journey, but God will be with us every step of the way. We are so grateful for all of your support, and we could not be doing anything here without you. Please feel free to ask any questions you would like about the adoption or anything else for that matter. We love you guys!

          BecauseHeLives,

          Micah and Kelsi.  

Meet Abigail Roat Bergen and Lily Niet Bergen:

WHAT IS IT!? Episode Two

In this episode of WHAT IS IT!? Gene is our guest star. The options are:

a. Water Scooper
b. Play Sword
c. Cambodian Cooking Pot
d. Catcher for Khmer Ball Game

Have fun! Also, on a side note, I would like to thank everyone who supports us, and announce that we have reached over 1,200 views of our blog! I thought it was pretty exciting :) Love you guys!

Playground and Cleaning Day September 3rd, 2012

Hello everyone! Yesterday was Labor day, so in honor of labor, we put the older kids to work at BYKOTA house. On Friday we announced that we would not have school on Monday, because it was an American holiday. We also mentioned that it would be a cleaning day. It wasn't very nice, but watching the kids faces go from super excited to not have to school to realizing they were gonna be put to work was hilarious! The weekend passed with nothing super special happening, and Monday arrived. We had told the students that we would be at their house at around nine thirty to explain what needed to be cleaned. Even with this explanation, they showed up at the school at eight thirty, just like usual: they thought that we were having a school cleaning day—I guess we should have made it more clear on Friday. Kels had a great idea to take the little kids to the park while the older kids and the staff worked on cleaning the boys’ and girls’ houses, so we gave the lists to the houses and packed all the littles into the tuk tuk. We had seven kids altogether, and I was thankful that Pisey said he would go with us. We were off to the park! I guess our translation did not get through well enough, because we went straight for an amusement park… oops. Thank goodness it was closed for repair—did not want to be the bearer of bad news and say that we did not want to go to an amusement park: with seven children under the age of five. Boo took us to the closest play area near the shut down amusement park—which was a playground for some big building: maybe a library or museum… I am continually amazed by children’s pleasure in simple things. I took one look at the playground (probably 20ft by 20ft with three slides and a couple of ramps) and thought, “great, they are gonna be amused for a grand total of five minutes with this.” We were there for two hours… I think that is something that Jesus meant when he told us to be like children in our faith. We should not need great big playgrounds to make us happy—we need be content with what we have. I remembered this game that my friends and I used to play called “lava monster” in which one person was not allowed on the jungle gym and everyone else was not allowed off. The lava monster would try to tag everyone and if you were tagged, you became a lava monster too. The BYKOTA kids were too young to get the concept of the tagging system and staying on the playground set, but they understood being chased by a monster. It was great fun to run around trying to catch them. Kelsi noticed that it was about to rain, so we decided to go for a walk and then leave. We walked around the big library/museum/havenoideawhatitwas and found a really cool statue of a lion, so we took pictures. We also happened upon a fountain area, and of course all of the kids wanted to get in and swim—another reason I was thankful Pisey came: six arms and seven children trying to jump in is easier than four arms and seven children J When we came home we checked on the houses, and they were clean!

In other news, the sewing class has moved to the girls’ house and so the machine is easier to access for the girls who want to start sewing things for church and also it clears a room out here, so we have more room for anyone who would want to come and help with everything we do here! (could be you… we might have just cleared out space for you).

In other, other news I have fixed my guitar! I went to a guitar shop and found the tuning key. Also found out that there are Fender Malibu Acoustic Electric guitars for $100 here :) Yep… might be replacing my guitar before returning home.

And in final news, I would like to share the story of the mouse in the bedroom. The power went out a week ago, and Kelsi and I left our windows open to have a breeze in our room. A couple days later, I was getting ready to get in bed, and for some reason decided to adjust my pillows… I lift my pillows up and right underneath them is a dark brown rat. It jumps off the bed and races to a hiding place somewhere in the room. I looked for a couple minutes and then decided that I would find him eventually. Kelsi told Rhonda the story the next day, and Rhonda said that it was probably a Chincha (lizard), and that I was probably mistaken because they look so alike and I am used to seeing mice—not geckos. Well, a couple more days go by, and Kels and I decide to move to the next floor bedroom—for a couple reasons not including the mouse. And as I am moving things, it appears! Kels and I chased it around the room for a good ten minutes bought lost track of it. When we told Mark and Rhonda about it, they suggested letting one of the cats loose on it. So we left a cat in the room for a while with no luck. The next day I was climbing up on the balcony to color in our rewards chart for finishing PACE books, and I open the door to our old bedroom to find the mouse sitting on the edge of the bed. I closed the door quietly and ran to get the cat again. Chantal brought the cat, and I told her to throw him in the room… and then on second thought I said, “put it on the bed with the mouse” which Chantal was not happy to hear, because she was a little creeped out by the mouse. As she snuck the cat around to the other end of the bed, I watched the cat’s eyes lock on the mouse, and I said, “ok. put the cat down.” That cat sprung at the mouse and the mouse jumped and tried to run up the dresser drawers, but the cat snatched it with its claws and brought the mouse to the floor and stuck it in its mouth. Coolest thing I have ever seen. I am not a cat lover, but I love that cat.

The following video is random footage that I shot while in the process of catching the mouse.

I hope you enjoy reading these updates, and I sure hope that it is a reminder to you to pray for us. We are continually thankful for all of your support and prayer. We love you guys!

BecauseHeLives,

Micah and Kelsi.