Hey Everybody!
Life goes on here in Cambodia. We have two things that we would like to share with you that happened recently. The first has to do with my Bible study and the second with Kelsi’s sewing class. This blog will most likely have nothing in it about the school, so if you are searching for school related things, you will not find them in this post. What you will read about is what Kelsi and I do with the kids of BYKOTA House, when we are not feeding their brains with education.
Bible Study: Purity Retreat.
This past weekend, Mark and I took the young men of BYKOTA House on a retreat weekend to Kingdom Resort (which is basically a hotel with a cool pool and a restaurant). Our goal was to teach them about sexual purity. This topic is not a super comfortable one for teenage boys, so we wanted to make it fun as well as work. The program we used was an audio led series of five sessions with physical pictures of the concepts contained in activities that Mark and I did with the boys. The first session was about simply introducing the topic and goal of the retreat. I was very surprised at the topics covered, but I was also glad for the sake of the boys, because I feel that it was thorough enough as to not leave any questions in their minds. Our first project was entitled “Puzzled” and in it we broke the six boys into two groups. The group to complete the puzzle first would get a prize. One group had the puzzle in a plastic bag. The other group had the puzzle, the lid with the picture, and I helped them (I am kind of a puzzle expert, since our family usually had a puzzle on the table during the winter season). Although Mark explained to the other group what to do, he did not physically intervene. I on the other hand was all over that puzzle. The end result was that my group finished their puzzle first (of course). The picture of it was a good one: life is difficult (especially puberty), you need three things to get you through it. One, the word of God: the puzzle is much easier, if you have a clear picture of what it is supposed to look like. Two, someone with more experience than you: the puzzle is easier, if you have someone who has gone through it getting involved in your life and helping you. The boys that were on Mark’s team were a great picture of this, because he told them what to do, but they did not do it. On the other hand, when my team allowed me to get involved and help them, they were successful. Third, you need brothers in Christ: the battle for purity is especially difficult for loners. God never intended for us to fight it alone. We need the encouragement and accountability of our brothers in Christ. The second project was polluted water. We discussed the importance of good friends and peer pressure. In this project there was a jug of water and six glasses of water. Three were filled with water colored with food coloring and the other three were plain water. When you have friends with the same values as you, the things that they pour into your life are fine and only fill you more—aka help your walk with God. But when you hang out with people who are opposed to the truth of the Bible, they pollute your thoughts, heart, and attitude. The third project was after we got into sexual purity, and it was to show the importance of waiting until your wedding night to have sex. We discussed purity the whole weekend as a gift for our future spouses and a protection for our sisters in Christ. In the third project we took matches and had each boy light the match and immediately blow it out. We then asked them to try to light the match again. We explained that this was a symbol of their virginity. You can only give away your virginity one time to one person. We then placed a match in the water for a minute. When I took it out it was saturated with water. When I tried to light it with another match, it would not light at first. I told the boys that if they would saturate their hearts in God’s word and saturate their minds with Christ, their virginity would be better protected. As I held the lit match near the wet one, the wet match lit as usual, however. I explained that no matter how much you saturate yourself in God’s word, if you place yourself in bad situations long enough, you will fall—just as 1 Corinthians 10:12 says. We had finished the discussion on the subject of the importance of virginity, and I felt like God wanted me to mention if virginity had already been lost. I do not like to assume anything about anyone, and I stated that to the guys. I give them the benefit of the doubt, but I also will not automatically assume that since they grew up in a Christian Children’s home that they had not possibly already given away their virginity. I would have never thought to mention it, so I think that God had special plans for the words that were spoken. The next section was on boundaries. We were moving into the phase of the purity retreat in which we were going to discuss relationships. Boundaries are important to have in mind before you begin any relationship, because the decisions you make in the “heat of the moment” are always to give up boundaries. The boys listed out everything from holding hands to sexual intercourse in order of safest boundary to least safe. They had a hard time with this, until we told them to think of a progression. I said, “If you had a girlfriend, what would be the first thing you would do?” And then the next, and then the next, until we reached sexual intercourse. They then drew a line of the furthest they would go. At first, some did not understand this and drew the line at sexual intercourse… So I asked, “So do you think that it is safe to undress with someone?” They quickly said “NO!” I kept asking the next thing until they finally said that it was ok. We then used project number four, which was the leaky balloon. Basically, the balloon is full of your purity, and as you make little decisions about how far you will go, you poke holes in it. I thought it was pretty cool, because as we were discussing how one thing leads to another and it is very difficult to hold boundaries as far as kissing and hugging passionately, I accidentally poked the balloon not on the tape, and it burst all over the floor. After I got over being shocked, I coolly said, “And then before you know it all you purity is gone…” The last session was on the importance of waiting to date until you are prepared to be looking for a wife. It discussed how we can get so attached to another person that we lose all of our other friends and end up having to have that one person in our life. I thought it was good, because the boys needed to understand that a relationship with a girl too early can easily break all friendship with your brothers in Christ who are supposed to be growing with you through life. I heard a speaker at a getaway event about purity once say, “If you roll over in the morning and see your wife, and she is your best friend, you have it really good. If you roll over in the morning and see your wife, and she is your only friend, you have a problem.” I wanted the boys to hear something to that effect this weekend, and it was said. It is an aspect of early relationships that I think most people don’t see. The damage that it has on relationships with your brother’s in Christ. The project for this illustrated the damage with two pieces of construction paper. They were glued together, and then when the boys tried to tear them apart, they left pieces of themselves behind. I thought that this was a fantastic picture of sexual relationships, also. The Bible says that when you have sex with someone, the two of you become one flesh. If someone continues in casual sexual relationships, they slowly lose themselves to other people. I think that it showed the seriousness that God talks about with sexual purity. Most people think that it is just in then out and nothing more… but Biblically, you lose part of yourself each time you connect to someone and then leave them for another casual sex partner. Other than learning a great deal about purity, we had a blast. We swam during our break time, and played mafia until eleven o’clock at night. Thank you to everyone who prayed for us, and especially to our sponsors for providing the funds so short notice for the retreat—it made it more special to get away with the boys, than if we had just stayed at home. I know God did some great work over the weekend.
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| Hand over the eyes... |
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| "Hey Savorn, why did you cover your eyes?" "It so bright." "Ok. Keep your eyes open this time" FLASH! Immediately after the picture is taken, "Ah!" |
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| "Savorn, have you ever eaten a burger before?" "No." "I'm gonna take a picture of you eating your first burger!" "Wait... I mean, have you ever in your life eaten a burger?" "Oh. Yes." "So you meant that this was your first burger here." "Yes." Lame... |
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| The boys were not a fan of the air conditioning... At one point, I turned the air conditioning to the lowest degrees and turned on the overhead fan... IT WAS HILARIOUS! |
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| You can't burn down Cambodian hotels with just one match, because they are coated with tile and there are no carpets! :) |
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| And we're chilin at the pool :) |
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| This is what happens when you ask the waitress if the burger has tomatoes and lettuce, she says no and you ask for tomatoes... you find out that the burger does in fact have tomatoes and lettuce, AAANNNNNDDDDD they bring you an entire plate of tomatoes... Which I thought was hilarious, considering the plate the burger came on had tomatoes on it... |
Sewing Class:
Kelsi said that she really just wanted to post some pictures of the end product of the sewing class renovation, and the girls working on their masterpieces. Here are some pictures. Again, thank you to everyone who gave especially for this project, the girls enjoy it so much, and just today Mekerah was talking about how she was so excited to make headbands—one of her friends from Singapore wanted one as well.
P.S. We survived our first week as parents of two children... we are pretty blessed, they are the greatest. Abigail Roat (Abby) is already answering to Abby, and Lily Niet has warmed up to Kelsi. Lily was very attached to me, and would not go to Kelsi without crying, but since I was gone over night and most of Saturday, she got some mommy daughter time, and now Lily cries if I take her from Kels! God is mending this family together. Please pray for Abby, though. Coming from an abusive father, she wakes up in the middle of the night screaming. If I try to console her, she gets even more scared, so Kelsi has to wake up with her every time. Pray that God would cleanse her mind of all the bad memories of her past, and that He would fill it with His light and love. I love the family that God has given me, and my wife rocks my socks off with how awesome a mother she is to the girls. I am blessed beyond words. That's all. We love you guys!
BecauseHeLives,
Micah and Kelsi.
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