Big News, Big God

Hey Everyone,

          This is a very special update. It may come as a surprise, and it was to us also. About two months back, we had a new addition to BYKOTA House—Srey Roat and Srey Niet. Their mother left them at BYKOTA House in an attempt to protect them from an abusive father/husband. The mother’s plan was to get a job in Korea and raise money to support the girls. After meeting the girls, Kels and I knew that there was something special with them. We love all the kids of BYKOTA House, but these two just seemed to burden our hearts a little more and plague my thoughts at night (haven’t been sleeping well, lately). It was burdening our hearts enough that we began to pray about what God might have us do for the girls—possibly He wanted us to sponsor them or raise support for Roat’s eye surgery—we didn’t know. As the days went on, Kelsi and I began to remember a conversation we had while we were dating about how many kids we wanted to have. The conversation went something like this: Me: “Kelsi, how many kids do you want to have?” Kelsi: “I want to adopt two children and have two children.” I obviously already had a response ready, when I asked the question, and it just happened to be the exact same thing. I don’t know when it happened for me, but I just remember distinctly thinking that I wanted to adopt two kids and have two kids. The conversation was simply curbed, because we were informed before we came to Cambodia that adoptions from Cambodia were closed. One night, we decided to just ask about it, because we knew that Mark and Rhonda had adopted children, and Cambodia has been closed to adoptions for quite some time. When we discussed it with them, they explained that adoptions were closed for foreigners trying to adopt from Cambodia into the United States, from the United States, but that adoptions within Cambodia were open. What they had done with their recent adoptions was a process in which the child is adopted in Cambodia, they have legal residence with the parents for two years, and then they are available to receive visas for America and apply for American passports: basically, you can adopt children within Cambodia and stay if you want, but the process to go back to America is a two year process (approximately). When Kelsi and I heard that we were cautiously excited. We contacted our parents and asked them to begin to pray for us. It was shocking news. We began to make contact with the mom of the girls, and found out that she is a great godly woman. We tried to help her into a ministry that helped mothers and their children, but she wasn’t sure that would work for her. We wanted to find out what her intentions were, so Rhonda had a meeting with her and asked what her plans were with the girls. The mother explained that she was going to go to Korea and work to support the girls. When Rhonda explained that since BYKOTA House is a children’s home, they might be adopted, the mother became overjoyed and cried. In Cambodia, it is greatly thought that the best thing that can happen for your children is that they get adopted by a “wealthy white family”. It is a broken country with broken families, and Cambodia needs a lot of prayer that God would bring it back from Pol Pot’s terror and that the family unit would be restored as it once was. After the mom’s response, Kelsi and I began to pray about God’s will for us in this situation. We wanted to adopt, but we always felt that it would happen after we had settled down and had our two children first. As we continued to pray about it, we met with the mother to explain our hearts and ask her what she thought about it. The first meeting went really well, the mother has such a beautiful heart and loves God very much. She explained that she wanted to spend some time praying about if we were the right family for the girls. About a week later, she came back for our second meeting. Rhonda had prayed beforehand felt like God had laid the word PEACE on her heart. She decided that if the mother did not use the word peace in the meeting, she would know that we were moving too fast or the mother was only doing it out of pressure—not out of God’s leading. The mother sat down and said, “I have been praying the past couple days, and I feel such peace in my heart that God has brought you into my girls lives to take care of them. God gives authority to parents over their children, and I would like to give it to you. I know that you are a godly family, and I want Roat and Niet to grow up knowing God.” After the mother giving approval and God giving all of us peace in our hearts, we became the parents of Abigail Roat (three years old) and Lily Niet (eighteen months old). We are pursuing the adoption of these girls currently (Cambodian) and will be seeking American visas and citizenship in two years (Don’t count two years from now, because in Cambodia dates are not perfect). I would like to share something the mother said: “Each day I prayed to God that He would provide for my girls a better future than abusive fathers and alcoholism. I prayed that God would send someone who would love both of my daughters and take care of them.” It seems odd, but the mother believed that after Roat’s eye accident, she would never be adopted. Basically, it was the end of hope for the mother, because, in Cambodia, children with disabilities are discarded and not wanted. When Niet was born, she believed that someone would adopt just her and leave Roat behind. She earnestly prayed that God would bring a family who would love and “not see” Roat’s injured right eye. Roat is a joy (which is why we are calling her Abigail—Father’s Joy). I can’t imagine ever not loving her, because her right eye is blind. When I think about how God works, I am amazed. When Roat was born is about the same time that Kelsi and I had the conversation about how many children we wanted to have in our family: Two. As Srey Ron (the girls’ mother) began to pray for Roat, God had already placed it in our hearts to adopt. We have brought Roat and Niet into our little home away from home and we will continue to pursue with God’s direction adopting them. If you are wondering why this is the first you are hearing about this, I would like to explain that this is not something in our personal lives, that we were trying to hide. When we began seeking and knocking about adoption, we were warned to guard our hearts. Even now, there are many hurdles to overcome. At any moment, everything could be over, and we did not want to start spreading the news, until we were sure that God was saying, “yes.” I understand that this comes as a shock. We are here to serve with the Benz family, and that has not changed. Although having two children comes with more responsibility, we are still committed to our service—just as people who have their children continue to serve in their local church. Our ministry description has only changed to include the care of two beautiful blessings. I have been warned that by extending our time in Cambodia and adopting two children we may bring on judgment from some, but God is the ultimate Judge, and when He has planned something, it will happen—and His plans are wonderful plans. At this point in the update, I would like to give the summary of information that you have just read:

          We are pursuing the adoption of Abigail Roat (three years old) and Lily Niet (eighteen months old), with the blessing of their mother (Srey Ron). They have moved in with us and in our minds and hearts, though not legally, they are our daughters. There are many hurdles to overcome, and it could be that the adoption does not end with us having the girls: please pray for God’s will. For the adoption process, we must stay at least two years, beginning on the day that we obtain legal guardianship of the girls.

          What this means for you. Firstly, if you do not feel comfortable supporting us financially anymore, we understand—but please continue to pray for us as we continue seeking God’s will. Also, the expenses of the girls will not increase our monthly budget a whole bunch (maybe $200-$300), but our sponsors agreed to fund us only through March (nine months was our original time frame). We are beginning to seek out more sponsors for this longer period of service. I would ask that you pray about possibly becoming a financial sponsor. I know that God will provide. Please pray for God’s hand in all of this, and we will keep you well informed on everything that God is doing in Cambodia, just as we have been.

          We are very excited about what God has in store for the next couple of years. It is going to be a long hard journey, but God will be with us every step of the way. We are so grateful for all of your support, and we could not be doing anything here without you. Please feel free to ask any questions you would like about the adoption or anything else for that matter. We love you guys!

          BecauseHeLives,

          Micah and Kelsi.  

Meet Abigail Roat Bergen and Lily Niet Bergen: